Anonymous

Marriage is a custom that lost all meaning

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This post is the result of me trying to form my final opinion on gay marriage, as we know in most western countries gay people managed to win a right to marry by claiming marriage is fundamental human right, my home country is one of the few that did not pass it electing instead to replace it with civil unions that give gay couples all rights married couples have sans adopting children. Now as for is this justified stance or not is still up for debate, if gay lobby would drop the constant stream of insults and in fact argue their case for once, but i digress.

The fact is that marriage in it´s original concept is definitely a union between a man and a woman with express goal of raising children, but this original vision has long ago been maligned beyond recognition, the current form of marriage is a soulless construct of equal parts tradition and innovations made by people with no understanding or knowledge of the original idea behind it.

Namely the explicit goal of marriage is producing children, to this end there are two core ingredients without which marriage as such can´t function, 1.no sex before marriage and 2. no divorce once the deed is done. The reason this two concepts are so key in the concept is that marriage is a statement, and the statement is that this two people, this two adults are ready to take responsibility for any and all offspring that they produce, to that end they make a commitment to stay together even when the going gets tough, even when the initial butterflies and rosy glasses had long since fallen off. this is not a decision that is taken lightly, nor carelessly, because there is no backing down from it, and once taken allows the couple to engage in activity that can very well lead to offspring.

Divorce throws a bi darn wrench into this whole concept, if you can opt out of marriage after the fact (and in case of women get a big payout in the process) then there is no reason to consider what you are doing before hand, indeed there are people who treat marriage as just a formalized relationship, going from marriage to marriage as they would from fling to fling. The other big wrench today is the loss of shame at premarital sex, most marriages i ever witnessed were a consequence of a woman getting pregnant, as unwilling as we are to face it human beings ave terrible impulse control, if you engage in regular sex with somebody chances are you are going to go trough with it without protection at one point or another, since most people don´t have the moral fortitude to drop the whole thing if they suddenly find out they are out of condoms, not even so long as it is needed to got to a store.

This exposes potential children to either growing up in a marriage between parents who never wanted to marry in the first place, making it a very unhealthy environment to grow up in, or even worse in single parent households either as a result of a divorce or a simple fact parents went their separate ways instead of marrying. Harmful effects of this are all too familiar to those frequenting this forum.

Swinging back to gay marriage it is obvious gay people would have no place in the original concept of marriage, being unable to create children there is no more point marrying gay couples then is buying a car for a blind person, but this watered down bastardized version we have today, well let´s just say it makes no difference one way or the other.
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  1. Deidre's Avatar
    It depends on the couple and their outlook on marriage. I think for many, marriage is just a next step, maybe due to cultural pressures. But, for my husband and I (I got married last month), we view of marriage as sacred. From a spiritual perspective, but also a secular one. So, it's not entirely lost.
  2. Anonymous's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Deidre
    It depends on the couple and their outlook on marriage. I think for many, marriage is just a next step, maybe due to cultural pressures. But, for my husband and I (I got married last month), we view of marriage as sacred. From a spiritual perspective, but also a secular one. So, it's not entirely lost.
    I meant as cultural institution, not on individual level, sure enough some people still hold this principles dear but society does not, nothing prevents you from leaving if you want and just on that basis alone there is generally far less thinking when people step into this kind of thing. My parents and grandparents both told me the same stuff, marriage is hard, and parenting is even harder, and if you can bail at any time, well many people will take this out clause rather then keep working on the marriage.