It's nice to have you here MHRant. I'll say straight out that I admire you coming to what you thought was such a hostile place out of love for someone else and wanting to see through their eyes.
It's clear you don't wish to be here and I have to echo Aimee's statements. It's easy to be guided by emotions and our prejudices, it's hard for us to admit we are wrong about things held so deeply. One of my favourite quotations applies to this situation:

"And the Dwarf, hearing the names given in his own ancient tounge, looked up and met her eyes; and it seemed to him that he looked suddenly into the heart of an enemy and saw there love and understanding".

We aren't your enemy here, and despite what you have stated up front (and kudos to you on that), I don't see a feminist so much as a person going through something difficult in life and dealing with a lot of pain. And really, how could we not try to help?