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Thread: The "how about an asshole free section" section for (potential) assholes

  1. #31
    id call ya mr e

    what are you trying to get at, just say

    all of that getting under a guys skin stuff.......it just robs me of health......if its fun for you find someone who wants to play

    id just like to post mens rights and advocacy like I always have, and I think others should be able to as well.

    I can joke around and talk crap most of the time.....when it gets to under the skin stuff, it costs me health.....is what it is, doesn't mean im against anyone
    Last edited by menrppl2; 03-20-2017 at 03:55 PM.
    A man can gain no more respect than by, laying down his life for a woman. And a woman, no more than by, beating down a man. For a man to ask, what is fair and good and true and just, is to offend.

  2. #32
    huh

    i'll try it.......doesn't have to be done in a day tho eh
    A man can gain no more respect than by, laying down his life for a woman. And a woman, no more than by, beating down a man. For a man to ask, what is fair and good and true and just, is to offend.

  3. #33
    Senior Member Deidre's Avatar
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    If you dislike how you are being treated in a topic/thread, you can always reach out in pm to a moderator and they can assess the situation.

  4. #34
    Senior Member voidspawn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deidre View Post
    If you dislike how you are being treated in a topic/thread, you can always reach out in pm to a moderator and they can assess the situation.
    This^

    Often people are reading something and when someone is being talked down to, they think the person doing the talking down is an arrogant rude SOB. But we don't step in. We do make a lot of male type assumptions (like fair fight, stand up for yourself type nonsense), then quietly root for the person we see as the underdog. Though that isn't visible, and if a person is feeling unsupported and unfairly treated, that's probably a mistake.

    Forum cliques are weird things, it's a fact they tend to form. Studies have shown that if you get people in a room, not even talking to each other, they will levitate towards groups of similar mindset. Take this at the scale of the internet, you've got one huge layer of filtering to get here, then you got that filtering into regulars, then that into cliques. But a clique is a negative when it's blind to it's cliquishness, when attempts to exclude, when it dogpiles. Seen it in other places, I've not seen that here.

    I'd fully support the moderators getting a pm and stepping in. I would be willing to send an apology and look to mend fences if my tone ever strayed into the unacceptable.
    "...especially when it comes to communication, it can be observed, if it is not a negotiation it's a war."

  5. #35
    Senior Member Deidre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by voidspawn View Post
    This^

    Often people are reading something and when someone is being talked down to, they think the person doing the talking down is an arrogant rude SOB. But we don't step in. We do make a lot of male type assumptions (like fair fight, stand up for yourself type nonsense), then quietly root for the person we see as the underdog. Though that isn't visible, and if a person is feeling unsupported and unfairly treated, that's probably a mistake.

    Forum cliques are weird things, it's a fact they tend to form. Studies have shown that if you get people in a room, not even talking to each other, they will levitate towards groups of similar mindset. Take this at the scale of the internet, you've got one huge layer of filtering to get here, then you got that filtering into regulars, then that into cliques. But a clique is a negative when it's blind to it's cliquishness, when attempts to exclude, when it dogpiles. Seen it in other places, I've not seen that here.

    I'd fully support the moderators getting a pm and stepping in. I would be willing to send an apology and look to mend fences if my tone ever strayed into the unacceptable.
    That's so true! Herd mentality is not a myth lol

    Men definitely deal with conflict differently than women, I admire to a degree how some on here never back down from an argument. lol Not all women deal with conflict the same way of course but I tend to avoid it if my point isn't getting across. Oh well, guess we have to agree to disagree, which isn't always a good position to have. My grandmother who died two years ago used to tell me "you may avoid pain by sitting on the bench, but you will also avoid good things, too by doing so." Sometimes conflict helps us grow. Or so they say. ^_^

  6. #36
    Senior Member Manalysis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr_e View Post
    All that's great and wonderful except that nobody will use them. People always post in the two or three groups which are popular.
    OK, and fwiw you're probably right. Asked and answered.

    And if you ask me, there are too many groups / sub-groups already. But that's just my opinion.
    Mine, too, hence my suggestion to eliminate a few of them.

    It doesn't bother me though because I just use the "New Since You Were Here Last" search (aka "New Posts") which returns the new posts for all the groups.
    Yes, except it doesn't always, depending on how long you have been off the forum. So I look at New Posts, and occasionally do the Grand Tour, just to check.

    If you're cruising the site that way, the distinction between this sub-group or that is completely lost. Doesn't matter. Is a blip of text at the top which doesn't affect the experience an iota one way or the other.
    Agreed. Although it doesn't have to be that way. "Mankind will never fly," and all that.

    I do, personally, wish we could discuss more without the back and forth "slam hammer"
    It's just pixels on a screen ...
    As for offense, that is always a choice. No one can be offended unless they choose to. No one can walk up to someone else and say "I hereby offend you", that's not how people function.

    and it is definitely cliquish at times.
    I hear people saying that, and yet I find it hard to see. Granted, there are people who disagree often with some folks and less often with other folks, and there is a visible division of left/right worldviews in the forum; otoh the people on the right disagree as much with each other as with the other side - in general, I see more disagreement than agreement and any "us against them" tactics - I've rarely seen a posse of posters ganging up on another poster, which is what cliques do.
    And what is a clique to gain, and how is it to operate here?

    And you can blame "assholes" for that if you want to, but if you want my opinion-- which you did ask-- I think as often people come here with an agenda to push / a perspective they want to push across-- and then get upset when other folks don't go along with it, assholes or no-- which is equally as troubling.
    That rectal label is not of my making, you have to ask Menrppl2 about that. But I agree about the agenda pushing, and the upset about the "recalcitrant" ...
    Idk where they get the idea that the thing to do in a forum like this is to proselytize for "converts" ... and to rage with brimstone against 'no takers' ...

    One thing *I* do not like-- I hope I don't do it-- is the ad hominem attacks-- like "If you don't agree, blah blah blah, you're a fucking retard!" That I think is over-the-top and is the wrong thing to do.
    With some people it is just keyboard Tourette's ... people who can't say "fucking" without saying "fucking" first ... and those people are in a distinct minority. I just filter it out.
    I do find it strange that they actually themselves choose to adulterate their own silver coin with nickel, though.

    But I also know that the people I can think of who do it, are also people who often make very good insightful comments and posts, and to lose one would necessarily lose the other, and I think we would all be poorer for it.
    Exactly.
    There are some very few people where the noise is not worth the signal, but then one doesn't have to read every one of their posts, either.

    Perhaps the best course of action would be for all of us to be a bit more sensitive and attuned to it-- and call it out when we see it.
    Well, isn't that what MP2 is asking in the first place? (A bit hard to tell, because his criticism is fairly general, i.e. vague.)

    Both publicly and if it really gets out of hand, to the moderators so they can quietly, privately intervene. I don't think-- for the most part / most offenses-- there is any benefit for the individual to be publicly scolded, apart from comments by fellow forum users. If it goes to the moderators, I think it should be between them what happens with perhaps a very terse explanation provided (by the moderators) if one is absolutely necessary.
    Yup.

    I also think there is a distinct difference between "being an asshole" / "acting like an asshole" and simply having a passionate voice.
    Absolutely (although some make an effort to camouflage the difference...). The passion is why I don't mind people being a tad bellicose.

    Everybody has a different take on all this stuff and is coming from a different place, and will (re)act differently to various topics. I don't have a problem with that either-- except that I'm sure some people will likely confuse that with someone being an asshole. People often take offense at an agitated Male, even when he has every justification to be. And that is a comment / question I would ask back to the OP to consider as well.
    Agreed.

    ]You mean, /get a room/ in response to the people being assholes? I thought that was exactly the point that you were making and the action that you wanted. To call people out on their bullshit behavior and suggest they take it elsewhere.
    Yes. For instance, by giving the OP of any thread the right to "police" his or her own threads.

    Make up your mind, please, which you are wanting.
    Am I advocating two things? Perhaps, but I don't see it. Give me a subtle reminder, pls

    And yes, just for the record, *I* am the one who posted that.
    Do you have a problem with it-- are you calling me an asshole?
    Not at all. I might stretch myself to "agitator" though, but then in the most complimentary sense of the word - you are AFAICS the most productive introducer of subjects in the forum.
    I like your stuff, like I like the occasional gems from simpleman, voidspawn, Matrix, Anonymous and all the others who dig up issues for us to debate.
    I'm not so intimately connected to the pulse of e.g. US culture and politics, and so more of my threads are ... well, analysis, more than reporting. Apart from that, I usually end up as a debater.
    But no, you are at the moment half the life of this forum.

    M

  7. #37
    Senior Member mr_e's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deidre View Post
    That's so true! Herd mentality is not a myth lol

    Men definitely deal with conflict differently than women, I admire to a degree how some on here never back down from an argument. lol Not all women deal with conflict the same way of course but I tend to avoid it if my point isn't getting across. Oh well, guess we have to agree to disagree, which isn't always a good position to have. My grandmother who died two years ago used to tell me "you may avoid pain by sitting on the bench, but you will also avoid good things, too by doing so." Sometimes conflict helps us grow. Or so they say. ^_^

    ^_^


    Say, is that a pussy hat?

    ;-)
    FEMINISM is a HATE GROUP - Feminists are HATEFUL PEOPLE
    It's time to call it out for what it is.

  8. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by menrppl2 View Post
    I'm not up for all the "fun"( the fighting, the abuse, the clique, the hierarchy, the stifling of open and honest, the focus on not leaving yourself open, the going after anyone weak or different, thiers an abusive anyone can say anything rule, if anyones offended their a pussy(free speech), as one can imagine its very limiting on free speech policied with abuse and man up, the most abusive lying manipulative assholes rise to the top, the rest fall in line, the ladies are left out, for any around their is compettion for there affection). anyone who has hung out with guys knows it, it has nothing to do with mens rights, everything to do with ego.
    i dont believe it was this bad.
    and i defended you....

    and you shit on me

    so whatever
    Quote Originally Posted by Deidre View Post
    If you dislike how you are being treated in a topic/thread, you can always reach out in pm to a moderator and they can assess the situation.

    or just tell the guy "i dont appreciate the insults. and its not good for my health to argue in this manner with you"

    done.. i bet 1000$ the guy will be more tolerable..everyone on here is very compassionate from what ive seen.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheNarrator View Post
    Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Deidre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr_e View Post
    ^_^


    Say, is that a pussy hat?

    ;-)
    :=P

    Quote Originally Posted by TheNarrator View Post



    or just tell the guy "i dont appreciate the insults. and its not good for my health to argue in this manner with you"

    done.. i bet 1000$ the guy will be more tolerable..everyone on here is very compassionate from what ive seen.
    I believe he didn't state that in so many words, but the harshness kept coming his way, from what I could tell. But, as I said above in this thread...I think that people were trying to give him tough love, not mock him. Sometimes, tough love can feel bad though.

  10. #40
    Senior Member mr_e's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manalysis View Post
    Not at all. I might stretch myself to "agitator" though, but then in the most complimentary sense of the word - you are AFAICS the most productive introducer of subjects in the forum.
    I like your stuff, like I like the occasional gems from simpleman, voidspawn, Matrix, Anonymous and all the others who dig up issues for us to debate.
    I'm not so intimately connected to the pulse of e.g. US culture and politics, and so more of my threads are ... well, analysis, more than reporting. Apart from that, I usually end up as a debater.
    But no, you are at the moment half the life of this forum.

    M

    I wasn't fishing for compliments, but thanks all the same. That is very nice of you to say.

    I have a genuine regard for your analysis as well. I can't tell you how many times you've made me google... ;-)
    FEMINISM is a HATE GROUP - Feminists are HATEFUL PEOPLE
    It's time to call it out for what it is.

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