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Thread: I grew up surrounded by woman

  1. #1
    Junior Member Father bear's Avatar
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    I grew up surrounded by woman

    Am i glad to have found this place. Ive been watching some of the Voice for men videos over the past few weeks, then reading books on masculinity and male psychology. Gradually things are making more sense. Must be that red pill i took a while back.

    Im 57, male, married with 2 daughters living near to London in the UK.

    I grew up in a female dominated environment, 3 sisters and a mother that I sensed had issues with men. Her relationship with her own brother had been at times violent. Her father was a cold religiously bigoted man who came to the UK after evading conscription from the Polish Army during the first world war.

    My father was physically absent during much of my youth, buried in his work and when present he was emotionally absent. Hardly surprising given his own upbringing in an ultra-orthodox Jewish family in pre-war Hungary and then a spell in Auschwitz where most of his family were annihilated. On reflection, he remained trapped at the emotional age of this experience, so in effect my father and role model for the mature masculine was a 12-year-old boy.

    Given my insecurities and low self-esteem, I married 30 years ago with little relationship experience. I married out of my religion, much to my father's disgust. He still holds this against me. Oh, and dont start me on being circumcised - something i had no choice with. I was duped like most of us men by the gynocentric model of needing to care and provide for my wife.

    And then as luck would have it, the universe decided to give me two daughters. Even the rescue Rottweiler we took on had far more feminine energy than his male genetics would have predicted. Thank fuck my daughters nor my wife are not into all the feminist bullshit and fully support my quest to recover my masculinity.

    When I entered psychotherapy 10 years ago for my pathological jealousy and emotional insecurity, it was with a Jewish female therapist. Actually she helped me recover from my love addiction and co-dependency greatly. When I started my psychotherapy training it was with 40 women and 9 men. I went through a major mid life crisis and developed an infatuation) over a female colleague that nearly destroyed my marriage. Still, i learnt much from this experience.

    In the 3rd of 4 years of training I started feeling a need to start exploring my own masculinity. I suggested to the other men that we form a male support group. Only one was interested.

    It was that experience that in part led me to find a men’s therapy group and that was my first experience of being around other men in an environment where we cut through the bullshit and manly con-games that us men can play.

    I had a decade earlier had tried to locate a men’s group. The only group I came across was located in San Francisco – a tad far to commute too from the UK.. However, what I read really appealed to me, men sharing and supporting each other whilst doing stuff together out in nature. Perhaps I was not ready for doing my own growing up at that point as I didn’t find any mention of UK groups on my google searches at that time.

    2 years ago i discovered the ManKind project and have thrown myself in with volunteering and giving back to other men.

    Ive just celebrated 30 years of marriage. Conscious relationships are hard work and we've been through our ups and downs. At the moment it works for both of us.

    I also work as a psychotherapist, specialising in men's issues and agree with Paul's take that much of therapy is gynocentric. Because of that, i do not belong to the mainstream regulating bodies for therapists in the UK. Not all men find my approach to their taste, i can be confrontational and dont have time for bullshit.

    Thanks for reading and i look forward to contributing.
    Last edited by Father bear; 05-14-2017 at 07:54 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member CamilleLion's Avatar
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    Hi, and welcome.
    "De-polarize women and re-moralize men." - Me

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    Senior Member malcolm's Avatar
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    W3lcome to the forums, always good to see new faces here.
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  4. #4
    nice intro. welcome to the forums.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheNarrator View Post
    Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.
    It's always bothered me how much glee people take in the utter destruction of another being.

  5. #5
    Welcome to the forums...

    I am kind of surprised that you did not find any male only organization... There is some within the jewish communities, and I also understand that in UK the masons are quite popular... just to mention a few...

    Anyway... welcome.

  6. #6
    Welcome Father Bear! Thanks for sharing your experience. Being a man and a father is not an easy task, particularly in the UK. Your voice will, I am sure, be a great addition to this forum. Its great to have you here.

  7. #7
    Administrator Grumpy Old Man's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forums.
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    Senior Member Anonymous's Avatar
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    Welcome and good luck.
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    Senior Member mr_e's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forums! We're glad you're here.
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