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Thread: Looking for help researching - DV Shelter

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by voidspawn View Post
    It's not an easy thing for any man to come forward about. Just the simple stigma of being abused or bullied by anyone is hard for a man to open up about, when it's an intimate partner just makes the hard near impossible. Gay support groups might have better methods and information with more experience of dealing with IPV and DV. There's been a lot of harm done by all who force distance between gay men and straight men. Even if that isn't the demographic to be served homosexual men's groups might be more locally present and willing to share information. I think gay men when not under the influence of the fear and hate agenda of feminists, would be more inclined to have compassionate views towards all men. Many gay men have personal stories of abusive mothers.

    Canadian Association For Equality: http://equalitycanada.com

    Have been collecting information, and I think they connect into the US and might be able to put information your way, good to contact for general advice.

    Janice Fiamengo is another good potential source, I don't know how she's contacted but she has facebook and twitter, http://en.wikimannia.org/Janice_Fiamengo and does videos for Studio Brule on youtube.

    She's been collecting men's stories for some time, and has built up a collections she plans to publish. But since she's primarily does this for men's rights activism and her profession is English Literature professor, I would imagine she would give permission for you to use material for developing a men's shelter. I don't know when she plans to publish, but she would collect from a larger audience than just Canada. She'd also collect material using professional academic standards.

    Also check out Lara Stemple's research, she's done extensive work on female perpetration of violent and sexual abuse. Very high quality research and non partisan.
    https://www.law.ucla.edu/faculty/fac...lara-stemple/#!
    Thank you, this will help i think.

  2. #12
    You know.... Little ticked off, also think that if the MRHM etc is going to say something they might want to, oh I don't know make some phone calls and verify their information. Just spent 2 hours talking to 12 different shelter's in 4 different cities in Texas and an additional 3 in California that do in fact provide transitional housing for men, and have some staying at each one of them, so in other words every single one of them I called. While there does only appear to be 2 men's only shelters in the U.S. that's only because the two corresponding charities that also run family and women's shelters finally had enough male clients to justify building separate shelters. You all make it sound like a need isn't being met in your propaganda.

    Just glad I've had experience with business before and believe in doing my due diligence, otherwise I would have wasted $100k of my own money. Just wasted like 10 days working on this 12-14 hours a day, worst part is now i need to go back to Texas pick up a $30,000 check and give it back to the generous person that donated it and apologize to him. So yea, next time you all are out writing articles and spreading propaganda, you know, check your facts first please.

    Well that was a short trip down the rabbit hole. There is no red or blue pill, ton of propaganda on either side of the fence.
    Last edited by Ironman; 09-05-2017 at 05:00 PM.

  3. #13
    Senior Member voidspawn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ironman View Post
    You know.... Little ticked off, also think that if the MRHM etc is going to say something they might want to, oh I don't know make some phone calls and verify their information. Just spent 2 hours talking to 12 different shelter's in 4 different cities in Texas and an additional 3 in California that do in fact provide transitional housing for men, and have some staying at each one of them, so in other words every single one of them I called. While there does only appear to be 2 men's only shelters in the U.S. that's only because the two corresponding charities that also run family and women's shelters finally had enough male clients to justify building separate shelters. You all make it sound like a need isn't being met in your propaganda.

    Just glad I've had experience with business before and believe in doing my due diligence, otherwise I would have wasted $100k of my own money. Just wasted like 10 days working on this 12-14 hours a day, worst part is now i need to go back to Texas pick up a $30,000 check and give it back to the generous person that donated it and apologize to him. So yea, next time you all are out writing articles and spreading propaganda, you know, check your facts first please.

    Well that was a short trip down the rabbit hole. There is no red or blue pill, ton of propaganda on either side of the fence.
    I think your lashing out unfairly here, people on this forum come from all over the world, no one claims to know about all locations but often finds similar experiences for their own location to many others. Firstly you were rapidly advised by a member to check for the need in your area, which you said you'd do.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheNarrator View Post
    i think you really need to look at

    A) the demand in any given area you might open
    B) the costs of running
    C) profits (which i think are non existent so not sure how you plan on funding future)
    You didn't ask anyone to do that for you, and it is a basic check to get simple stats: https://www.domesticshelters.org

    I think you'd find people here assume you are doing it, especially when you say are going to.

    Campaigning has been going on for 20 years plus, different results in different places. But there is no suspicion of wildly different patterns of DV. You've been told that support for gay males outstrips support for straight males. Have you checked if the support you are finding is actually targeted for gay males or predominantly used by gay males? Gay males and male victims of abuse by other males have had very different treatment by the mainstream media, government, charities/NGOs and academia compared to straight males.

    You can find which states have support and which areas are basically black holes for support for any males here:
    https://www.domesticshelters.org/sta...nce-statistics

    However questions that get discussed in MHRM interested groups go far beyond just the availability of shelters, you will clearly find that males need help with rough sleeping and homelessness as being a bigger claim, that suicide prevention is the number one wanted action and lack of fairness in family court and divorce the most common problem. Often there is problem of straight males coming forward as abuse victims at the hands of a female. Shelter is one issue, but a male who leaves a violent home who has a job is going to sort out transitional accommodation himself and overriding concern is for the children he is separated from, and the rolling forward of financial and social problems that follow from his leaving a bad situation. He tends to know he's going to get blamed for things and that people will believe that blame because that is the assumed truth when it comes to straight males. You were advised to look more deeply into this issue, MHRM isn't a campaign to direct funding or spending on a problem but raise recognition of problems to levels that reflect actual incidence.

    Here you can see one of the problems when discussing issues internationally:

    US support Compared to Canadian
    MaleSupportUS.jpg MaleSupportCanada.jpg

    Are both countries going to have such massively different profiles of behaviour?

    In Canada a male is massively more unlikely to be unable to find ANY support.

    Anywhere in the west a gay male is going find more support than a straight male. I don't have figures they are not readily available because summaries don't divide the male stats by sexual orientation. Perpetration of violence by females upon males, follows a different victim behavioural pattern with a male victim far less likely to come forward. Yet the in depth research by Lara Stemple and others, including longitudinal studies show that the perpetration rates by females and males when all abuse categories are taken into account are basically equal. This isn't anti anyone propaganda, it's a simple statement that recognition of and support for male victims of female perpetrated DV is unequal to the problems faced, and that the study into the amount and types of support isn't being done in the cases of male victims. Only the gay community has been successfully influential in getting abuse patterns and matching support needed widely recognised across Western nations. That isn't a statement that there is zero support for men, but that that is low support in general and no support in many places for straight males. That is borne out from the data.

    DV isn't an issue I've worked on directly on for some years, and I'm not DV campaigner and don't write articles or publish research. I participate here in discussions and share articles to discuss and data of interest. No propaganda agenda.

    You've reached your own conclusions and views after making your calls, which help you decide on plans that you've come up with yourself. No one here has tried to push anything on you, merely suggested where to get additional information on the issue. I've said it before about this forum, as have others, it's open forum not central hub of MHRM planning, the participants here have often found their way here after finding no where else to discuss what they've experienced or witnessed. For most that is the sum total of it, they discuss a bit, share a bit and leave, others stay become regular posters and participate in a wide range of discussions. The forum is provided and maintained by a small number of people who entirely donate the time and resources for it to exist, and they don't do that as some central coordinating hub, they do it as a place to discuss, ask questions to peers, a stop gap when men and women find locally even in their own families there is no opportunity to discuss issues affecting men.
    "...especially when it comes to communication, it can be observed, if it is not a negotiation it's a war."
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    Can't live with em, life is great without them.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Equity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by voidspawn View Post
    I think your lashing out unfairly here, people on this forum come from all over the world, no one claims to know about all locations but often finds similar experiences for their own location to many others. Firstly you were rapidly advised by a member to check for the need in your area, which you said you'd do.



    You didn't ask anyone to do that for you, and it is a basic check to get simple stats: https://www.domesticshelters.org

    I think you'd find people here assume you are doing it, especially when you say are going to.

    Campaigning has been going on for 20 years plus, different results in different places. But there is no suspicion of wildly different patterns of DV. You've been told that support for gay males outstrips support for straight males. Have you checked if the support you are finding is actually targeted for gay males or predominantly used by gay males? Gay males and male victims of abuse by other males have had very different treatment by the mainstream media, government, charities/NGOs and academia compared to straight males.

    You can find which states have support and which areas are basically black holes for support for any males here:
    https://www.domesticshelters.org/sta...nce-statistics

    However questions that get discussed in MHRM interested groups go far beyond just the availability of shelters, you will clearly find that males need help with rough sleeping and homelessness as being a bigger claim, that suicide prevention is the number one wanted action and lack of fairness in family court and divorce the most common problem. Often there is problem of straight males coming forward as abuse victims at the hands of a female. Shelter is one issue, but a male who leaves a violent home who has a job is going to sort out transitional accommodation himself and overriding concern is for the children he is separated from, and the rolling forward of financial and social problems that follow from his leaving a bad situation. He tends to know he's going to get blamed for things and that people will believe that blame because that is the assumed truth when it comes to straight males. You were advised to look more deeply into this issue, MHRM isn't a campaign to direct funding or spending on a problem but raise recognition of problems to levels that reflect actual incidence.

    Here you can see one of the problems when discussing issues internationally:

    US support Compared to Canadian
    MaleSupportUS.jpg MaleSupportCanada.jpg

    Are both countries going to have such massively different profiles of behaviour?

    In Canada a male is massively more unlikely to be unable to find ANY support.

    Anywhere in the west a gay male is going find more support than a straight male. I don't have figures they are not readily available because summaries don't divide the male stats by sexual orientation. Perpetration of violence by females upon males, follows a different victim behavioural pattern with a male victim far less likely to come forward. Yet the in depth research by Lara Stemple and others, including longitudinal studies show that the perpetration rates by females and males when all abuse categories are taken into account are basically equal. This isn't anti anyone propaganda, it's a simple statement that recognition of and support for male victims of female perpetrated DV is unequal to the problems faced, and that the study into the amount and types of support isn't being done in the cases of male victims. Only the gay community has been successfully influential in getting abuse patterns and matching support needed widely recognised across Western nations. That isn't a statement that there is zero support for men, but that that is low support in general and no support in many places for straight males. That is borne out from the data.

    DV isn't an issue I've worked on directly on for some years, and I'm not DV campaigner and don't write articles or publish research. I participate here in discussions and share articles to discuss and data of interest. No propaganda agenda.

    You've reached your own conclusions and views after making your calls, which help you decide on plans that you've come up with yourself. No one here has tried to push anything on you, merely suggested where to get additional information on the issue. I've said it before about this forum, as have others, it's open forum not central hub of MHRM planning, the participants here have often found their way here after finding no where else to discuss what they've experienced or witnessed. For most that is the sum total of it, they discuss a bit, share a bit and leave, others stay become regular posters and participate in a wide range of discussions. The forum is provided and maintained by a small number of people who entirely donate the time and resources for it to exist, and they don't do that as some central coordinating hub, they do it as a place to discuss, ask questions to peers, a stop gap when men and women find locally even in their own families there is no opportunity to discuss issues affecting men.
    Voidspawn, you are extremely sincere and knowledgable in your replies, which is a lot more than I can say for this person that you are replying to. A person who has clearly come on this forum to make a feminist point and an angry, deceptive, irrational, illogical, false, empty one at that. A person who clearly is not who or what they claim to be. A person hiding behind the facade of someone interested in men's rights. A person who is nothing more than an immature, cowardly troll with ulterior motives.

    Your conduct good sir speaks for what we stand for and his/her's for what he/she stands for.
    Last edited by Equity; 09-09-2017 at 11:32 PM.

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