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What Women Want: A Dissection

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  • What Women Want: A Dissection

    [NOTE: The following is based on personal experience, as well as discussions I have had with other women. This may not at all be accurate for all parties. Please also note that at times there has been confusion when I say that a FEW, notice, FEW, men hate women because of bad experiences. When I say a FEW, I mean a very little minority. Whenever I make ANY reference to hate, please understand I am referring to the minority who do, and not all men. Because that is silly. Thanks for all the comments and feedback! Hopefully this will help clarify.]

    While I understand some of us here are women, this is going to be mainly directed at the male majority here. But ladies, should you come across this, feel free to add. I'm but one person, and this could be a little on the long side...

    I've been told that I have much to learn here; about the truth of feminism, the struggles men face, the ingrained stereotypes and expectations that are at times literally killing us...

    That's ok. I understand I have a lot to learn, I understand I won't agree with what is always said, and that I may at times be a target for harsh words and the like, but that is OK. There is hurt here, anger, confusion and above all, a sense of a community that understands that. And despite the horror stories, abuse, and rage, this is a beautiful place. There is open dialogue, humour and friends. There is honesty, something that has been lost to many, afraid to offend in any way someone else. It's harsh, but isn't life? Life isn't easy, and the more you try to mold it into a false reality that is rainbows and lollipops, the harder it is going to break you down to dust... That is something I learned when I was very young, and I'm sure a lot of you get that idea very, very well.

    But there is something that seems to be a mystery, despite all that, and that is women. More importantly, what they want.

    I have seen the accusations "Oh, they want attention." Or "they want security!". Worse still, "they want to control us."

    People post here asking for help in regards to the other half of the human equation, wondering how to talk to us, how to approach, to get away from, what we actually WANT. What really set me off was one too many HERE'S THE TOP TEN WAYS TO TALK TO WOMEN what have you that was posted on HuffPost and shared here for us to sigh, rage and discuss.

    Guys, I know a lot of you have given up on women entirely. It is so painful to see that....I'm not saying that you shouldn't do that, because I understand why you have. You've had terrible experiences, you know that terrible things can come at the hands of women...I can't argue against your anger, because it is not unfounded. It pains me just as much, if not MORE so, to see my sisters come to hate their brothers because of their own bad experiences. And instead of just not wishing to engage with the other side as you have, actively hate them...It seems far more common for women to hate all men than men to hate all women....I wish, no matter how idealistic this is, or naive or hopeless it may seem, that we could honestly just see that there is so much more to a person than what they are; gender/sex WHATEVER, is just a part of a person. A big part, but a part none the less...

    With that in mind, here is the ultimate guide to what women want. Are you ready for this?

    It depends.

    It depends on their experiences, their personality, how they have been raised, where they have been raised. Their age. Their schooling. Their everything...Tits and a clam do not automatically determine what women want. It is just like a woman saying that a man only wants sex because he is a man. That is WRONG! The men I know and have met want an equal, someone to talk to, someone who will listen, someone they can depend on, a friend. Of COURSE some want sex, because sex is awesome (for most). But to assume all of them do? Shame. Shame on you, missy. Same to the guys who think all girls want stuff. NOW, it is logical to come to that conclusion if that is all you have experienced. Based on what you have lived, you are going to think that if that is all you have seen, but I call that really pissy luck. Like, really pissy. Where the heck do you live? Is the universe just sending shitty people your way? That's not fair, man. I'd say the same thing to women who go on about men just wanting sex. You and the guy who thinks girls just want stuff should hang out. You've got a lot to talk about.

    So, here is my "list" of of what women "want". For the most part. If anyone is curious. This is also assuming they are sane, IE not psycho manipulative harpies in disguise.

    Independence: Oh, I know you see this one a lot, but hear me out. This is one of those hypocritical desires, and I'm guilty of it. I want the ABILITY and KNOWLEDGE that I can go off on my own and be just fine, all while being in a relationship. It is the knowledge and ability that you are capable. It is not necessarily being alone, but knowing you could be.

    Support: Not just in terms of money and stuff, cynics. But emotional support. We've got these wonderful hormones and connected frontal lobes that give us a kick of emotion, and it is hard to handle. SO hard, that one person can't deal with sometimes, and needs a hand to hold. Not to LOUNGE on, but just to hold. A "hey, you're having a tough time, I'm here for you if you need me" sort of hand to hold. A reminder that you aren't alone, and you've got someone who has your back. This can be a good friend or lover or anything, really. And it is appreciated.

    Humour: Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is more awesome than someone who can make you laugh. People love to laugh. It makes them smile, releases endorphin's, and it is just...great. You may not share the same SENSE of humour, but is seriously awesome. You strike that funny bone, and it's a good time for everyone.

    A Mouth and Ear: Women do talk more than men, and yes, we like to be heard...I am so crazy guilty of this. I have so many ideas, and I just want people to know! I'm a firm believer that knowledge is to be shared. If you don't share, the idea dies, and progress cannot be made. BUT YES. It is true, it is good to listen. But guess what? We are also curious creatures. We want to hear about you! Tell us about yourself, tell us your story. We in turn, listen. I hope.

    I could go on, I think. But I just want to cover the bases. If you look up and read, I'm sure for the most part it could be agreed that most PEOPLE like the above things. We all want to be able to be strong enough and face the world on our own, we all want support, someone to talk to, and laughter. There may be some differences in how this is done, but it's not always the case. Everyone has their own quirks. But think, what do you want to be shown? And also, if you AREN'T SURE WHAT SHE MEANS OR WANTS. Just...just ask, guys. Most of us will tell you. It's good communication, shows you care and want to listen. That's awesome. From a female perspective, sometimes I don't even know what other women want, so I ask, and I've not had any bad reaction to that. Some may say because I too, am an LADY, SO YOU KNOW...but I'd rather have my boyfriend ask me why I'm angry, than be confused in oblivious silence why I let my anger fizzle out. We talk, compromise, apologize, move on, as I would with anyone.

    Hopefully, this cheat sheet will be of some help to you the very least, maybe this could give you some insight into the female mind. I know I'm a bit of an oddball, so maybe I'm missing a few things, but from my talks with other women, and you know, BEING one (though rather masculine at times, but hey), I figure this could give some of you an idea of what's out there besides the number of crazies you've had the misfortune of dealing with.

    I know I'm not going to convince people to go out there and find a lady. That isn't my goal; it is to try and help you understand us. Hell, some of you may hate me for even BEING here, because I'm a woman, and that's ok. I understand where it comes from, and I feel no offense by it. I just want to show that we aren't as totally different from each other as we all may think....we have a TON of differences, yes, but all of us want a friend we can relate to, someone we can talk to and know will be there for us. Men and women both want that, and we can find it in one another.
    Last edited by KikiSpaghetti; 06-13-2014, 08:32 PM. Reason: Potential confusion.
    "Not all with tits are twisted." -Me

  • #2
    Keep in mind, a lot of the stuff on this forum about women is incautiously worded, and most of the time when a member refers to "women", they're referring to the behavior of "women in general" rather than "all women".

    Hell, some of you may hate me for even BEING here, because I'm a woman, and that's ok.
    The most popular youtube MRA, Karen Straughan:
    is a woman.
    The ancient shitposter returns.


    • #3
      Oh, believe me. I know that. I LOVE Karen, and am proud to say that we share the same nationality. But I also read realityisabitch's introduction for women on this forum, and she did state there that sadly, some men here are like WITCH, BURN...because of the girls up top. Though I do understand that when they say "women" they usually mean "some women" or "x number of women", etc. I was just covering my bases...but thank you for the observation regardless, as always MrScruffles.
      "Not all with tits are twisted." -Me


      • #4
        That was a good read. I can say from personal experience that this seems rather accurate Especially with the support part.

        My sense for understanding of women generally comes from them feeling comfortable around me (and me being a natural listener) they often just say anything and everything. It is like they forget that I am a guy. (Still trying to figure out why they single me out for emotional support)

        Anyway, it is always nice to see a logical female point of view on these forums.


        • #5
          Mrscuffles: "rather than all women"

          Yet I still have troubles finding that to be true.

          Very rare to find one that is not.


          • #6
            Women don't know what they want.

            Case closed.....
            Last edited by Zuberi; 06-18-2014, 08:25 PM.


            • #7
              there are some good points here along with some woefully inadequate ones and a few which in my personal experience are laughably misinformed.

              and yet you have succeeded in making the very same mistake ALL such women who make lists about what women in general or herself specifically want from men.
              What pray tell are you offering as payment for these goods and/or services?

              go on, I'm listening? surely you do not think sex alone fair trade when you yourself have stated the Idea that men only wanting sex from women is wrong and Ignorant? do you suppose yourself to be so superior that the honor of your presence is worth more than merely the same in return?

              If you take away the sex and sexual objectification as feminists have so kindly asked men to do, what then is left that a man could want from a woman?
              perhaps a stimulating conversation where she is always right because of her sex and he can just shut the fuck up and check his "privilege"?
              perhaps a partner to help pay the bills and build a house she will take leaving him homeless in the cold?
              do we need to go over wife or mother to his children or can we just leave that alone because the answer is self evident?

              the Truth is No woman has ever bothered asking men what they want or even if they did no man could afford to give an honest answer. not when every flaw and every weakness will be turned against them and used as a weapon at the first little argument which comes along.
              you think us simple and easy to understand, emotional Cripples or Imbeciles because madam that is what we wish you to think. it is how we protect ourselves from you who are the masters of Manipulation, Treachery, and Deceit.
              What do you get a dad for fathers day? typically the answer is a Tie or a coffee mug because the man is not free to express who he is even in the privacy of his own home in the presence of his family.

              you have said before that this is an awesome place and it is, is one of the few spaces left where Men can be themselves. we compete and debate, share ideas and open up about the horrors we've endured free from female oversight without pandering to political correctness or the sensibilities of women.
              and we welcome you to come in and learn just fine up until to try to get men to stop saying the harsh truths you do not wish to hear because the reality men live in is wholly different from the sheltered existence you have experienced.
              Karen is a good primer on the basics but to know what your really up against you have to go with some Spetznaz
              "It is the greatest inequality to try to make unequal things equal." - Aristotle


              • #8
                My BS flag is raising very high here: "And instead of just not wishing to engage with the other side as you have, actively hate them."

                P.S. I've been married for 25 years.

                Added: How about you add what our members are expecting from women as opposed to lecturing what you think women want. See, the conversation changes when you do that on a men's forum? Are you here to listen or to give us the same jack foolery we can hear from HUFPO. Maybe it should be a cheat sheet of what men are expecting. Next!
                Last edited by Grumpy Old Man; 06-13-2014, 10:52 AM.
                ethikē aretē--phronesis--eudaimonia
                virtue of character--practical/ethical wisdom--human flourishing

                It is not a battle to win but an attitude to share.
                AVFM Mission Statement


                • #9
                  Here's your equality: this is an x-ray of Lee Ving's fucked up head:

                  and this is an x-ray of the girl that did it to him:
                  Last edited by humann 2; 06-13-2014, 06:42 PM.


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Zuberi View Post
                    Woman don't know what they want.

                    Case closed.....
                    I've noticed you repeatedly say such things in such a complete fashion. Women are not the start and finish of society's or men's problems. Men are a part of their own problems (in what I think of as a very masochist nature, but that is a discussion all on its own, but the point is that they serve others to their own detriment) and women are a part of their own problems and the two are a part of each others problems.

                    It's all of human nature that's being taken used by these malicious ideologies (like feminism) and not just female nature.


                    • #11
                      Comrade: women are more cruel then you are led to believe, and second Zuberi: is RIGHT, were the hell have you been.


                      • #12
                        The only things I have seen women want are:

                        1. Me to date some woman I feel no physical , emotional, or mental attraction to.
                        2. To know when I am going to get married again,
                        3. What I do on my weekends.
                        4. What I think of their physical appearance.
                        5. What I think of another woman's appearance.
                        6. If I am gay because I have no girlfriend.
                        7. If I am gay because I state I will never marry again.
                        8. What I do on vacations.
                        and then the worse sin of all.
                        9. Will I go out drinking with them.

                        These are from female coworkers. They don't ask to share in my interests under any conditions.
                        Most coworkers know my interests but the women refuse to discuss them and wonder why I blow them off when a male coworker asks me about them for a second.

                        I will now crawl back to my sanctuary. That which the women at work call my "Man Cave" which is really my house.
                        Last edited by Delyun; 06-13-2014, 01:23 PM.


                        • #13
                          All right, look. Maybe my intentions weren't clear. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I'm naive.

                          1st thing; the reason I posted that some men hate women is because some do here, though certainly not all of you and I can bet dollars to donuts, most of you don't.
                          2nd thing; the reason I put it up is from what I have read and experienced first hand....I even shared with with my male friends, and they liked it, but it could just be our little bubble. Who knows?
                          3rd thing; I got my dad a make your own guitar pick from anything puncher, because he can go buy his own socks and ties.
                          4th thing: I sure as HELL am not going up against Karen. I watch her videos religiously...she's brilliant. She'd eat me for breakfast, nay... a snack. And I agree with her on pretty much everything, so it would be pointless.
                          5th thing: I guess I just wanted to show that women aren't as awful or manipulative or greedy as you guys thought...maybe some of us just want friendship...
                          6th thing: I do honestly want to learn. That's why I'm here. I also want to share, and well, I guess it wasn't all...well, accurate, from what a lot of you have said.
                          7th thing: I guess I'm looking like a big hypocrite by even making a stupid list in the first place...
                          8th thing: To answer the WHAT DO WE GET IN RETURN? point, well, most of what I said was wanted was support, friendship, compassion,, I guess being shown that in return. That's how relationships should be, right? Give and take? You support each other when you need it, are friendly, civil....I don't expect "stuff" from people, I expect qualities. Stuff is stuff. It breaks, it's...well, stuff. I'd much rather an intelligent conversation, a good joke or a hug. So maybe this whole dissection is limited to my experiences, but I can't be the only girl who thinks about this right?
                          9th thing: Delyun, your co-worker ladies sound....not great. I wouldn't want to hang out with them either...they sound a "touch" shallow.

                          Does that clear anything up? I hope so. I'll chalk this one up to a learning experience...this young one apologizes. (Note: I am not using "young one" to elicit sympathy. I was called that in my introduction and found it hilarious, like I was in a dojo or something. It also works. THE JOKE WILL CONTINUE.)
                          "Not all with tits are twisted." -Me


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Jack H. View Post
                            the Truth is No woman has ever bothered asking men what they want or even if they did no man could afford to give an honest answer. not when every flaw and every weakness will be turned against them and used as a weapon at the first little argument which comes along.
                            Alright, you schooled me....but I have to say, that at least from where I stand, that's wrong. HOLD ON, hold on. You say no woman asks what a man wants...are you sure? Have you met all the women in the world? Your meter says you'll be famous soon enough, so I guess you've met a lot. But not all of assume that I myself then, don't ask what men want. I ask all the time. Why? Because I want them to be happy. It's not fair if I alone and happy and get whatever I wish. It's a give and take, and if I am afraid of honesty, then why interact with anyone at all? Someone is bound to be honest, even with thing I don't like. I have read all the criticisms, and although harsh, they are honest. And I certainly do NOT bring up faults in arguments. I have seen that tactic over and over, and it is petty and childish. The rule of thumb in arguments is to stay in the present, do not detract from the others character, and get the the root of the issue. I get that men live in a different world, and I'm still learning just how different it is, so I do honestly hope you forgive my ignorance...thank you for your analysis.
                            "Not all with tits are twisted." -Me


                            • #15
                              Kiki, I get where you are coming from. However, my personal experience regarding communication are vastly different than you proport.

                              The vast women that I know do not communicate their wants and needs to me very well at all. Either they give me the silent treatment, rage on me for not being able to read their mind, say sarcastic shit they don't mean or has a differing meaning all together, use the word "FINE" or " it depends" without ever expanding on the context.

                              Now, don't give me the NAWALT BS, because I have not met it except for oneone woman in my life whom acted differently. I suppose she is the exception to what I've seen as the rule.

                              Anytime I've ever spoken to another woman about women's behavior, they NEVER agree with what I see, but rather go into "defend the herd" at all costs.

                              You want to be taken seriously here? Take your rose colored glasses off and step into our world
                              Ephesians 5 "Husbands, Love your wives like Christ loved the Church". (Wives, give your husbands something to love).
                              "Wives, RESPECT your husbands". (Husbands, give your wives something to respect.)

                              For a man does not truly feel loved unless his wife, mother, and children display respect to him.

                              "From each MAN according to his abilty, to each WOMAN according to her need"... Allison Tienemann

                              "Feminism is a HATE group... Feminists are HATEFUL people"... Mr. e

                              "In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem."... Ronald Reagan