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  • What about the assholes?

    I am new so plz read before commenting? http://forums.avoiceformen.com/showt...alf-the-battle

    I hate talk of the friendzone(i think its bullshit). I am sure you all have your opinions about that and what not but i hear this from many people. "that girl ended up with the asshole! blah blah blah she should have went with the nice guy."

    Who are these assholes though? Both women and men seem to be aware of the ever popular, always getting the girl asshole. But they are men so where are they? Who are they? How do yall differentiate them from you, or the MRAs or the Red Pills? They cant be betas, right?

    So who are these assholes and what are they doing right(wrong)to get these women?
    “If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to
    yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight."

  • #2
    Before I comment about who the assholes are, I'd just like to let you know that the friendzone has a different meaning depending on who you speak to. Most guys that speak of this are referring to a women that expects special privileges from the man without giving anything in return because she is his "friend". People like this often use this "friend" as an emotional tampon or an ATM. If he turns away from this abusive behavior, he is deemed an asshole in a way that will make future relations with women more difficult due to her social networks.

    As for who is the asshole, I think you are referring to how "80% of women want the 20% of guys" thing. Women are naturally hypergamous and will want a mate that will gather resources quickly without him slowing down for the sake of another human-being that is not her. If she were to go for the nice guy, he might earn less money for her in the relationship because the nice guy won't stomp on his competition in order to get ahead. That is the harsh way of putting it.

    The kinder way of putting it is that women want to select a mate that she thinks would provide her with a better future.

    Comment


    • #3
      i think we are confused. or at least i am

      so an asshole, the guy the girl ends up with is, the guy that will do what ever he can to keep the woman? b/c of what ever she wants from a relationship he provides for her?

      haha you may have to dumb it down for me.
      “If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to
      yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight."

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Ro-bot View Post

        so an asshole, the guy the girl ends up with is, the guy that will do what ever he can to keep the woman? b/c of what ever she wants from a relationship he provides for her?

        haha you may have to dumb it down for me.
        The asshole, as we shall call him, is able to get more resources due to not limiting himself for the sake of others, and the average women wants to date someone that has resources that she can use. When married, she has access to all of his resources that he has, and will aquire. In other words, the more resources he can aquire, the better life his wife will have in terms of material gain.

        Another area that this asshole is seen as more attractive to women is that he has the guts to say no to her. Most women respect someone who can tell them no, and nice guys have been raised to never say that word to a woman.

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        • #5
          ohhhh ok. i am starting to get it now~
          “If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to
          yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight."

          Comment


          • #6
            If you are serious about getting up to speed on this stuff, look for some of the book recommendation threads on this site. My personal recommendation is a book called the rational male. Check out this link: http://therationalmale.com/the-best-...male-year-one/

            The guy does a great job of putting much of this stuff in one place. Opinions differ obviously.
            I used to think collapse was inevitable. Now I realize it is necessary.

            It was only a matter of time before the bicycles realized that they in fact did not need the fish.

            Comment


            • #7
              Asshole is just another way of saying they're a shitty person. Women who flat will tell you, or agree that they want to date assholes are also shitty inside. Most nice women are ones who use to be shitty themselves, but are better at hiding their shittiness; you see this more often with older women and single mothers.

              Comment


              • #8
                There's this principle called the alpha male which is essentially a man who adheres to a woman's biological imprinting of good breeding material. The theory is that the asshole triggers that imprinting because he shares features with the alpha male.

                Go back 100.000 years, the alpha male, leader of the pack was the one who threw his weight around. And there was often good reason for it. The environment was dangerous and this required the tribe to follow the leaders instructions to the letter. You see this today in wild animals, and in military organisations. You don't argue about instructions, you follow them. People who don't go extinct.

                Aside from this natural selection, the alpha is excellent breeding material because his kids will likely be the most protected. The alpha may sacrifice other children, but less likely his own. He gets the best pick of the food, and his mates and children inherit his status to a degree. So the woman that lands the alpha gets best odds at passing on her genes... This even applies if she is bonded with another mate who is not the alpha.

                These urges are still pretty strong today and they pretty much explain contemporary sexual behavior. Men still bond into hierarchies. Women still have a tendency to look up to the highest status members.

                Women don't love assholes. They are instinctually wired to respond to the alpha. Assholes have traits in common with those alphas. The motivation is entirely different however. To alpha's, the ones that tended to put their genes into the next generationm, their offspring and family was their primary asset, they'd protect it no matter what. To an asshole he himself is the primary asset. Our instincts just aren't very good at making that distinction.

                I personally don't believe in the "There can be only one!" alpha for humans. We tend to select one mate. So for us alpha status is more likely something shared by the top of the hierarchy in a tribe. Still the analogy is usefull.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Eric.W View Post
                  Asshole is just another way of saying they're a shitty person. Women who flat will tell you, or agree that they want to date assholes are also shitty inside. Most nice women are ones who use to be shitty themselves, but are better at hiding their shittiness; you see this more often with older women and single mothers.
                  i like to think most people are nice but have been so used to the world being sarcastic or being told to lighten up and dont be a prude, they cant help but be shitty.

                  like when i was younger and 4chan was huge, still underground but starting off. that site made me into the biggest troll/jerk ever. it started to spill into my RL and i had some friends call me out on it. after that i just stopped.
                  “If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to
                  yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by willow View Post
                    There's this principle called the alpha male which is essentially a man who adheres to a woman's biological imprinting of good breeding material. The theory is that the asshole triggers that imprinting because he shares features with the alpha male.

                    Go back 100.000 years, the alpha male, leader of the pack was the one who threw his weight around. And there was often good reason for it. The environment was dangerous and this required the tribe to follow the leaders instructions to the letter. You see this today in wild animals, and in military organisations. You don't argue about instructions, you follow them. People who don't go extinct.

                    Aside from this natural selection, the alpha is excellent breeding material because his kids will likely be the most protected. The alpha may sacrifice other children, but less likely his own. He gets the best pick of the food, and his mates and children inherit his status to a degree. So the woman that lands the alpha gets best odds at passing on her genes... This even applies if she is bonded with another mate who is not the alpha.

                    These urges are still pretty strong today and they pretty much explain contemporary sexual behavior. Men still bond into hierarchies. Women still have a tendency to look up to the highest status members.

                    Women don't love assholes. They are instinctually wired to respond to the alpha. Assholes have traits in common with those alphas. The motivation is entirely different however. To alpha's, the ones that tended to put their genes into the next generationm, their offspring and family was their primary asset, they'd protect it no matter what. To an asshole he himself is the primary asset. Our instincts just aren't very good at making that distinction.

                    I personally don't believe in the "There can be only one!" alpha for humans. We tend to select one mate. So for us alpha status is more likely something shared by the top of the hierarchy in a tribe. Still the analogy is usefull.
                    thank you for this!
                    “If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to
                    yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Ro-bot View Post
                      i like to think most people are nice but have been so used to the world being sarcastic or being told to lighten up and dont be a prude, they cant help but be shitty.

                      like when i was younger and 4chan was huge, still underground but starting off. that site made me into the biggest troll/jerk ever. it started to spill into my RL and i had some friends call me out on it. after that i just stopped.
                      Don't confuse with being shitty as needing to lighten up, as there is a clear difference between them. Shitty people can stop being shitty, but it requires them to actually take responsibility for their own actions. As previously stated by other members, if a shitty person stopped being such it would limit their opportunities available to them. The big thing I've noticed is that shitty people are most afraid of being alone, even for a brief time, as they're not happy with themselves.

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