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"Dear Men: I'm Sorry" - An open letter from a feminist

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  • "Dear Men: I'm Sorry" - An open letter from a feminist

    http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/...-men-im-sorry/

    Someone shared this the other day. Here are some excerpts:

    Women rape.

    Women beat their husbands.

    Women cat call men.

    Women harass and assault.
    I have men in my life who are in physically abusive relationships.

    A friend of mine who is a male musician told me this week that he has had a woman grab his crotch several times while he was playing a show. He was angry and uncomfortable. No one in the audience stopped or said anything. She laughed thinking because she was attractive he would like it.

    He didn’t.

    If this was a man grabbing a woman playing on stage we would of looked in horror. He would of been beat up and kicked out.

    Let’s not forget that men are also assaulted.

    Let’s not forget that men are also sexually harassed.
    It's not perfect -- it repeats lies such as wage gap and insists on desiring to redefine masculinity -- but I think it's a huge step in the right direction.

  • #2
    This isn't a step in the right direction, this is an appeal for men to become feminists by throwing them a bone of 'alright, you suffer too'. They still want male help under their own terms, not ours.

    Comment


    • #3
      This is my comment, let's see if it makes it past 'moderation':

      Why is it now, after more than four decades of feminist propaganda calling men rapists in waiting, abusive husbands to-be, and the ultimate insult to history 'the patriarchy theory' (myth) that lumps ALL men into the 1% oligarchy that controls the other 99%, why are 'feminists' suddenly interested in the inequality towards men? I am also a humanist, however I will never, ever, call myself a feminist. I don't view women as special or different, strong or weak. Women are humans, and have the same rights and obligations as male humans and should be treated equally under the law in all circumstances. Which means, women should not get sentencing discounts or virtually automatic custody of children in divorce cases. It also means women need to stop blaming men for their financial shortcomings. Women can start companies, women can hire women at whatever wage they want and they have been able to do that for decades now. Cut out the propaganda about the wage gap (myth) already. If you want to stop hurting men, stop lying and spreading myths that human men are any different than human women in virtue. Both are wonderful. Both are horrible. Neither has any more rights than the other. Neither deserves special treatment or respect until they earn it. I am glad you are voicing your concerns for men, I am just skeptical about the reasons why. Feminism remains a special interest lobby group with huge political power and financial incentives to remain right where it is. Ask the directors of whiteribbon.ca about how their 6 figure salaries are made... basically by making my son out to be a potential rapists and wife-beater in waiting. whiteribbon.ca just got a $300,000 Canadian Federal government grant to keep promoting my son as a potential rapists and wife-beater. You say you stand for equality, then where is your lobbying for funding to help for men's shelters. There are non in Canada that I know of, zero. Talk is cheap, its a good start, but it costs you nothing and my son still has to deal with the nightmare of propaganda being spilled out daily by your 'sisters' in feminism. Time for something better, don't you think?

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      • #4
        My responce

        This apology is more for the women feminism has betrayed than for men..Increasingly men are realizing they have the option of living healthy fulfilling independent lives apart from a cultural and society that hates them for being men. Demonizes our sexuality and socially castrates anyone who stands up for the virtues, strengths and yes beauty of masculinity. We should now longer continue to allow women to define and degrade Masculinity. We are waking up and this has pissed a lot of more traditionally minded..

        I think this is the reason why a movie like the "Shawshank Redemption" resonates so strong today. It's this archetypal depiction of a mans liberation from a shitty women serving society. It's not an accident he's bumming around on the beach and not with a women, providing them with utility and resources...Men have been subjected to the shame and a cultural threat narrative to long and are getting wise. I wish to thank Feminism for doing this because for me it has awakened an awareness and power I never knew I had. Women I'm not your slave and I will no longer SERVE..
        Last edited by Jasonhm; 12-22-2014, 07:47 PM.

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        • #5
          http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/c...l_step_in_the/

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Adanu View Post
            This isn't a step in the right direction, this is an appeal for men to become feminists by throwing them a bone of 'alright, you suffer too'. They still want male help under their own terms, not ours.
            I agree, this is just #HeForShe in a blonde wig.
            Gender is a grammatical distinction and applies to words only. Sex is natural distinction and applies to living objects.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Iggy View Post
              This is my comment, let's see if it makes it past 'moderation':
              Good news, dude. It did.
              When a woman says to a man 'IF you really love me you would (INSERT VERB HERE)... 'IF you really love me you should buy/give/take/do X, Y, Z'... That's using...that's testing. And my answer to that is always; 'IF you loved me you wouldn't have asked that fucking question, now pack your shit and get the fuck out of my house.' - Maxx


              Asking a feminist about men's rights is like asking a cattle rancher about veganism.

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              • #8
                But I think it's being directed towards women, not men. So its people who are already feminists who are reading it, and now they're being forced to admit that making generalizations is shitty, to admit it's wrong to judge men on the basis of being male, and to admit that women are rapists and abusers. It's the sort of shift that shows red pill thought, even if they're still not ready to admit that their version of feminism is flawed. So that's why I say it's a step in the right direction.

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                • #9
                  She may still be caught up in a lot of lies -- but seriously, guys, lay off. She sees the damage that feminism is doing, she's not willing to reject it yet, but she's at least taking responsibility for the problems with it. And pushing away women who could otherwise be our allies is stupid.

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                  • #10
                    Frankly I found that utterly insulting. A pathetic attempt to co-op men and give her conditional approval provided she still set the rules. The subscription link was some juvie crap about going steady! Is this an Archie comic? I don't think so buttercup.
                    The title? Dear Men - I'm sorry
                    Do we need a letter because you got a clue? How about you put your journalistic 'talents' to some of the issues before announcing your amazing change of heart? Don't flatter yourself darlin', nobody needs your validation. What's more, you still don't have a clue.
                    "I know so many of you are respectful and sweet to the women in your lives."
                    Are you apologizing to me or reading me the current gynocentric chivalric standard? Given the life time spent suffering the result of you and yours grinding men to mince, this shit is so far short of the mark as to be revolting to those who understand what gynocentrism has been up to into antiquity.

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                    • #11
                      Hey come on pete, I'm totally with you on the fact that she doesn't get it all just yet. But isn't an open door like this preferrable to this? I personally prefer someone who misses the point but tries over someone who thinks you should just shut the fuck up.

                      I'm wondering if there will be responses to these messages. Because the message returned was quite clear. And (I feel) mostly considerate. I kinda wonder if she got closer to getting it... I'm pretty sure it's not the response she was expecting. But we weren't nasty, or toxic.

                      I liked how different people put in a response that was both unified and respectful. There's a saying: you catch the flies with honey, not with vinegar. This might be a form of activism that works.

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                      • #12
                        I believe we should treat women with the same level of expectations as we treat other men. Until we stop infantilizing women they will play that card for all it's worth.

                        My daughter is not and will not be infantilized by me as she grows older. My respect for my wife is that she is tough... both mentally and physically tough, and she'd roll her eyes at this women's article.

                        Not that the author was trying to be condescending or mean, but simply because she thinks men just want an apology.

                        I don't want an apology, I want recognition for what men do in the society, but even more importantly I want the slander to STOP, and I want the bad laws and horrific redistribution of my tax money allocated to resources that are not sexist (or better yet not taken form me at all).

                        The problem is this author thinks an apology is sufficient to placate men's anger. No... men are angry because the situation we are in causes us anger.

                        I will give her just a tiny bit of credit that she is, at least, spreading some positive awareness about men.

                        But the fact someone has to explain the wage gap to her is a big deal. Nobody should be that intellectually lazy as to have to explain that debunked myth yet again.

                        If you have a real interest in helping men you will eventually find yourself here, at AVFM, or lobbying for funding equality, and knowing that the wage gap is just another myth.

                        The comment I left her stands. Apologies are cheap, and while this is a good first step, the next step is for her put her platform to work to start promoting changes in law and financial distribution towards equalizing where the money goes.

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                        • #13
                          I have read a few of her articles. I can sum up my impression of her message to men in one sentence:
                          "Will you walk into my parlor," said the spider to the fly.
                          "We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming" - Warner Von Braun, wardrobely correct rocket scientist

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