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Misandry Vs. Racism (What environment is best for my son)

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  • Misandry Vs. Racism (What environment is best for my son)

    Dear reader,



    I am looking for some advice, the problem I am facing is a bad one and I'm hoping on hearing stories of other non-Asian men with (half-)Asian sons if life is better in the East or in the West.



    A bit about myself:



    I'm an over-weight ugly uneducated (I had a chance to get my diploma but my aggressive behaviour that came from the fact that I couldn't get a girlfriend made me over-aggressive towards everyone and this robbed me of that chance) man with no social skills, no friends, and no future, and no chance of ever having a career of any kind thankfully for my son he's compensated for that with a beautiful, fit, highly educated woman with a high paid career, lots of friends and a loving family, because my family doesn't want to associate with me and I've met family members that put up an illusion of not being related to me by blood simply to distance themselves from my anti-social behaviours (being quiet, or talking too much, I'm always the wrong one in everyone's minds) so my son will (thankfully) only know his mother's family. To put it short, I'm a loser and my wife's a winner and I hope that my son will take more after his mother than me...



    Background:



    I'm expecting a Viet-Namese boy, the only problem is that he'll be 20% African (which outside of Africa is equal to 100% African) and being an African in Asia is often not fun, well I've been to places like the Philippines and China and generally speaking there's only some taunting there, but in Viet-Nam you're less than the dirt you walk on, as a foreigner they (generally) treat you as less, and often this translates into descendants of foreigners with natives, in fact I met a Cuban man with a half-Viet-Namese son, he said he hated all Viet-Namese people and only respected a few (this from a man who has travelled across the world and settled there), though I wouldn't go as far as saying that I hate the people, I surely dislike the culture and before going laughed off the bad reviews, I thought by learning some of the language that they'd have more respect for me, but no they laugh more at your accent or mispronunciation of a tone, and instead of trying to teach you to correctly pronounce a word most people would rather laugh non-stop for 5 minutes before ignoring you, thankfully my son won't have to face this as Viet will (probably) be his native language, but from what I've heard of ''street rubbish'' (what they call someone mixed between a ''human'' (Asian) and a ''west'' (non-Asian), believe me there are some worse words out there, but let's use this tame one) that they would generally have to face the same prejudices as ''real foreigners''.



    My experiences in Vietnam:



    Well, let me start by saying that being a foreigner in Hanoi is not for the faint-hearted. Don't get me wrong they are mean towards everyone (including the natives) and many people know that a foreigner visits once AND NEVER AGAIN (I'm actually listed among the rare exceptions), and from stories I've heard from other foreigners there those that aren't living there have absolutely no intention on going back. As a person with basically no self-esteem going to that horrible place hasn't been easy, as someone who is easily offended the sight of behaviours that in the West would be seen as ''bullying'' are things nearly 99% of the people you'd come across do daily, wherever you go people will taunt you, they'll point and laugh at you, this is the same for everywhere in Asia (from Turkey to Indonesia), but nowhere as bad as in Viet-Nam, now list me some of the experiences I faced almost every day, they'll taunt you for being darker than them, paler than them, fatter than them, thinner than them, taller than them, and shorter than them, nothing escapes their realm of what they find funny about a non-Asian.



    Let me just name the most memorable ones from the last time I visited Viet-Nam and just try to stay within the last week I was there to keep this as short as possible, the Old City of Hanoi is a place I never liked, the moment I saw even its borders I avoided it and rarely went inside unless I was with my wife and even then I utterly hated the place, the moment they see a foreigner (visually it's easier to define ''a west''/tây but if they find out that an Asian is foreign they'd be charged the same) they'll overcharge you, if you stand simply next to a store an employee/the owner will scream at you to ''piss off'' and ''get out'' if you have no intent on buying something, and simply looking at another store will get you the same reaction, this isn't something racist it's simply a part of their culture and they treat native Viets in the same fashion, the reason I list this is because I don't want my son to grow up to become like these people, and finding a kind-hearted person in Viet-Nam is as rare as finding an invisible pink unicorn on top of a hot air balloon on the moon, this is not to speak ill of Viet-Namese people, just how their culture works.



    The moment you go to the streets you're constantly confronted with not being Asian, people laugh at you and taunt you non-stop, but people will also taunt at you for very specific aspects of your body, for example I'm quite short (1.87 M.) and while shopping in a Japanese shop in a Japanese shopping centre where in the shop all items are priced 45.000 Dongs (slightly less than 2 Euro's) I walked next to a woman of around 1.85 m. but she was wearing high heels (very high heels) and 2 of her friends (both between 1.40 m. and 1.45 m.) started loudly screaming ''wow, look at that short tây (''west'')'', and then they followed me laughing at me in the store for around 2 minutes until they (finally) left, not too long later 2 guys who were shorter than I felt the need to taunt me for being taller than them and acted in very visual ways to mock me, though instead of following me these guys were walking away from me and my wife... though really slowly. Later as my wife was going to the supermarket in that shopping centre an older bloke in a military uniform started making aggressive movements towards me, saying things like ''bring it on Arab'' (because I am dark-skinned people assume either that I'm from Arabia, Syria, or India).



    I wouldn't be so harsh to them if they weren't so severely hypocritical, for example once I was walking on a bridge and a man first spotted me and then laughed loud, alerted his girlfriend and started laughing at me as well and then after I had passed them he took out a camera and started filming me (or maybe taking pictures of me), but the moment I took out my camera and simply pointed it in their general direction they went absolutely bonkers, from what I've heard from other foreigners they had similar experiences, it doesn't matter if it's a blonde Frenchman, a dark-haired American, a tall German, or a short Italian guy.



    Another thing that really annoys me is the ambiguity of the term tây (''west''), I met a bloke who was half Australian aboriginal with a Malaysian girlfriend who worked in Hanoi and he noted that despite being from a country that was geographically east of Viet-Nam he was still called ''west'', and you won't believe how often a day you hear that word as a non-Asian, it doesn't matter where you go people will scream, taunt, and whisper that word at you, I remember walking in a rural village in the Hung Yen province and 2 blokes on a motor-cycle felt the need to pass me and scream ''tây'' in my ears, my wife heard it too (which is a miracle as she's usually blind to the people around her and her surroundings), and this time she started laughing and saying how that would be her new nickname for me (despite explaining to her for over 2 years how annoying I felt that word), the daily life of a non-Asian in Viet-Nam could be best summed up as hearing tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', tây/''west'', and more tây/''west''.



    Don't get me wrong it's not especially dumb as a term, for example the Thais call all non-Asians ''French'' (or ''the Black French'' for us Africans), but like how the slur for Africans that starts with an N originally came from a Latin word simply meaning ''black'' the term is thrown around in such a taunting and negative manner than any other meaning one could ascribe to the word is simply lost in its usage, in fact the word for ''human'' is so rare to be used for any non-Asian that I can remember it being used exactly once for me by a 4 year old who used the term ''foreign human'' or ''outside human'' but generally speaking this term is only reserved for other Asians.



    Conclusion:



    So yeah, it doesn't really sound like an environment you'd want to raise your non-Asian son in, I'm giving him a normal Viet name and he'll spend the first years of his life there, but he'll never truly be a native just like how I as someone of around 40% African descent can never be a native in the Lower-Saxon region where I live, though I'd say that racism is almost non-existent here (I'd only get mocked for my race maybe once a week at most by strangers, and generally speaking people would probably think that I'd have a different diet or speak a different language it's rarely something negative), and as long as I can remember being black hasn't really disadvantaged me much, I can only name a single time where despite coming from a Low-Saxon agricultural family, having worked as a farm-hand in Germany for years, and having a lot of experience growing food I was denied a job for ''not being enough of a farmer'' which could either be because I was from a village that was too big, or as my job coach said ''looked to foreign to be a farmer'', but here in the Netherlands my son could just grow up as no different from others, and usually racism exists mostly in the minds of children aged 4 to 6 who are obsessed about their identity, like I was always bullied for liking pink stuff and playing with barbies, most of these things became accepted behaviours as I became a teenager and there was less social pressure on ''blending in'' (as a lot of teenagers prefer to ''stand out'').




    Hurdles in the Netherlands:



    Something my son would face more in the Netherlands is misandry, we get pure unaltered American media on our television, and the school system is designed to take you down if you're diagnosed with anything, and here's my problem from the day of conception I was hoping for a girl and this was simply because of all the chances I missed out on as a boy, my personality isn't that much different from my sister but unlike my sister I had a major disadvantage... because I was born ''in the wrong gender'' therapists and psychologists kept obsessing over the smallest of ''non-normal'' behaviours and diagnosed me with Autism, people who don't know about my diagnosis won't be able to detect this in me but the moment someone gets this diagnosis they are unable to follow the normal school system, unlike the English-speaking world where there are only 3 types of school (middle school, high school, and college) we have a different system where you can't simply flow (middle school in our system is the same as ''high school'' in the English system, and what we call ''high schools'' are universities) and if you're diagnosed with anything bad they'll place you at the bottom of the middle school system, my grades were high enough for the highest levels but I was held back because ''other schools didn't have the attention'', or after puberty where I have literally seen almost no girls in my life other than my family and female teachers I was ''incompatible with any school that also houses girls'' and ''a danger to female students'' because I was ''too over sexualised'' (never made any physical attempts at girls, other than simply saying that they were ''pretty'').



    My best-friend was lucky in that his mother didn't demand a diagnosis from his psychiatrist, he was never officially diagnosed with anything and doors remained open for him, but my mother was convinced that if she got my diagnosed that I would ''get the help I need'' so I was placed in this horrible system that drove me to attempt suicide at age 12, and all the misandry in the media made me want to wish that I was born a girl for my entire childhood (so until age 17), the pro-girl bias in the school system wasn't a secret either, most classes had no girls and a few exceptions had between 1 or 3 girls in the class, and until I was 13 I was never in a class with a girl, and in total during my entire childhood had only spent 3 years in classes with girls, but the bias towards them was so great that it was evident everywhere, despite the 200/1 boy/girl ratio the girl's toilets were bigger and kept cleaner, there were special girl groups everywhere.



    I had a friend who was a few days older than I whom I met the last year of my lower-school and spent half of the time with during our middle-school period (we're still friends and meet, despite living quite far away from each other) and he failed half his tests, barely made others and aced a few, he was forced to repeat his 2nd year, and was eventually kicked out of the school, during my last 2 years (I thankfully only spend 4 years there, though they planned that I'd spend 5 or 6 years there... graduating earlier wasn't a fun experience either, I was basically ''without school'' for years and the school where I was supposed to be send to only accepted 18 year olds and higher, when I was finally 19 I was accepted and I found many 17 and 16 year olds in my class and afterwards I was kicked out for ''not being social enough'' and ''not making enough friends'' as I only communicated with the I.C.T. teacher from another part of that college, anyhow back to point...) so during my last 2 years at that school I shared my class with 4 girls, 2 of which failed every test and one of them (barely) passed some, and neither of them were forced to ''sit'' (which means that they wouldn't advance) and when I called my teacher out on this by comparing them with my friend she said that girls ''need to pass'' to prove that the school environment is ''girl-friendly'' (even though the girls failed on their own merits, in fact in an Autistic A.D.(H.)D. based school you quickly learn that most girls tend to be in the failing classes, and there was only 1 girl in the entire school that was smart and she was in my class, and also a daughter of a biologist which further proves that coming from an environment of scholars is probably more important to your success than the school environment), my entire life I faced sexism and now those 2 failing girls both have jobs and I'm still unemployed, though my wife has a high-paying job I'm afraid that both my country's culture can't be an example to him.



    Don't get me wrong boys can have female rôle models, as I grew up with seeing only male bumbling fools on the telly I saw ''strong female characters'' as rôle model (if you're excluded from the outside world the television becomes ''the closest you have to reality'' and since my mother was addicted to it she didn't see the harm in it), and when I realised that these had absolutely no flaws (nor real character development) I started idolising women as some sort of ''super-humans'', I don't want my son to grow up like this, I want him to socialise more and not turn into a social disaster like his father, to me my choices are narrow...



    If he's diagnosed with autism or A.D.(H.)D. (I don't have the latter but since our psychiatrists and psychologists genuinely can't tell the difference, I'm not even joking) it's best for him to stay in Viet-Nam where he'll go through a ''flow-through'' school system where your grades and merits are more important than your behaviours but will be more difficult to employ because his diploma's won't be regnocnised outside of A.S.E.A.N. and if he doesn't get that diagnosis I should let him live in the Netherlands because despite being more gender egalitarian (I saw some Viet-Namese television and they have the same horrible misandric ''entertainment'' but at least you'd see female garbage collectors, and construction workers which will make him see them more are humans rather than ''flowers to be protected'' as every job women have in the Netherlands are incredibly protected and they let men do all the heavy lifting) it's still an incredibly racist environment...



    I genuinely want to know from non-Asian men with (half-)Asian children what they chose (don't get me wrong, I know that for example Thailand, or the Philippines isn't as racist as Viet-Nam, and though I had incorrectly placed the blame for their racism on the French I should probably blame the Chinese since North-Korea, South-Korea, and Japan have similar mentalities towards foreigners as Viet-Nam).



    Disclaimer:



    None of this is either ''ignorance'' or ''slander'', I'm not saying that Asians are bad people, I'm just pointing out to Viet-Namese culture as being ''unfriendly'' (both towards foreigners and natives), this doesn't make me biased towards Asian people, just some cultures from the region, it's like saying that you find the idea of Moses having a boat with one of every 2 animals on it stupid, but that doesn't mean that you have everyone who's a Muslim.

    Thank you for your time.

  • #2
    Can you move somewhere else? In the West, most big cities are very multi-racial, and people really don't care. Class is more important than race.
    Liberty, Equality, Humanity

    Comment


    • #3
      I didn't know Vietnam is such a tough place.

      I live in Indonesia, and Westerners love it here.

      This Canadian girl love our country so much that she married a local guy and never moved back.

      Comment


      • #4
        i have a white friend who's married into a viet family.. and they are such warm people. i find it crazy to think of them the way you portray them. i also have viet friends (several!) who wanted me to date their sisters! lol..
        so the racism thing is probably more in vietnam itself..vietnamese here in canada i find are warm and non racist at all!

        i think no matter where you are raising your son, he will face hardships. and having a good wholesome and communicative family.. will help him through whatever he goes through.

        that is my opinion.
        Originally posted by MatrixTransform
        where were you before you put yourself last?
        Originally posted by TheNarrator
        Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

        Comment


        • #5
          owning land is illegal.... for foreigners...

          should be that way here.. honestly.
          Originally posted by MatrixTransform
          where were you before you put yourself last?
          Originally posted by TheNarrator
          Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

          Comment


          • #6
            It sounds like alot of your perceptions are affected (in a negative and hypersensitive way) by your autism. You're perceiving as unfriendly alot of the normal asian banter about being tall or short or dark or non-asian.

            Yes, alot of asians are xenophobic, not as a hate thing, but more out of fear. They get nervous and shy around westerners.

            For the average non-asian, that would just roll off your back, like "oh they feel threatened by me. How quaint."

            Frankly I'm just not that impressed with east asian cultures, they're phony, petty and insecure. Just smile and be on your way.

            I think western culture, especially at the higher echelons, celebrates individuality. Being a little african or a little asian wouldn't necessarily be seen as a bad thing, it just makes you "exotic" or whatever.

            As far as misandry, yes, we talk about that here all day.

            It only has as much power over your life as you allow it to.

            If you get overly involved with women and their petty bullshit, your life will be hell.

            If you go to quacks to diagnose your son with this or that, he will find himself in the "mental health system" which is a revolving door with no way out.

            On the plus side, he'll get free money from the government, but to me that isn't worth my freedom to develop my own careers and interests.

            Bottom line, Europe is better but you still have to be smart and cautious because Europe is full of busybodies that want to be up your ass or drag you into some kind of court or institution.

            Every shitty woman in Europe thinks she's god's gift to the planet and will not hesitate to get you arrested for any random bullshit, they will actually pick fights with you and then get YOU arrested. And the men are just as bad, they're all a bunch of mangina fucks who will beat another man to death for a whiff of gash.

            Bottom line, people suck.

            Asia, Europe, Africa, wherever.

            Get a dog, a gun and a bottle of whiskey, and a place to live on the outskirts.

            Watch the circus on tv.

            Have a good trade and make them pay serious cash for your time.

            Any woman sitting there yapping at you nonsensically, smile and keep walking.

            The rest is bullshit.
            Last edited by dubs; 02-11-2016, 05:22 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              I'm an over-weight ugly uneducated (I had a chance to get my diploma but my aggressive behaviour that came from the fact that I couldn't get a girlfriend made me over-aggressive towards everyone and this robbed me of that chance) man with no social skills, no friends, and no future, and no chance of ever having a career of any kind thankfully for my son he's compensated for that with a beautiful, fit, highly educated woman with a high paid career, lots of friends and a loving family, because my family doesn't want to associate with me and I've met family members that put up an illusion of not being related to me by blood simply to distance themselves from my anti-social behaviours (being quiet, or talking too much, I'm always the wrong one in everyone's minds) so my son will (thankfully) only know his mother's family. To put it short, I'm a loser and my wife's a winner and I hope that my son will take more after his mother than me...
              Just a question, if you are such a looser, so ugly and have no future why would your wife marry you, there has to be some quality about you because beautiful high earning women don't go for absolute dregs, i think you are selling yourself short.
              I sexually identify as a sword pommel, check your privilege or i will have to end you RIGHTLY.

              Comment


              • #8
                Just a data point. My nephew was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD when young, and now has a degree in Engineering, and is a jet fighter pilot stationed in Asia at a US airbase. He did not get much "help" with his condition, his parents were old school enough to understand that boys are rowdy little storms of energy and activity and put up with it, and told the schools that they were not going to allow him to be drugged, that there was nothing wrong with him.

                ADD/ADHD is basically not being a girl.
                Last edited by Patriarch; 02-12-2016, 12:02 AM. Reason: poor proff reading
                Liberty, Equality, Humanity

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Patriarch View Post
                  ADD/ADHD is basically not being a girl.
                  Damn straight.
                  FEMINISM is a HATE GROUP - Feminists are HATEFUL PEOPLE
                  It's time to call it out for what it is.
                  == REJECT FEMINISM. EMBRACE HUMANITY ==


                  The World of Men - Men's Rights / MGTOW / Sites of Interest to Men
                  http://forums.avoiceformen.com/showt...nterest-to-Men

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Racism is easier.
                    It is as old as Mankind, and part of the human condition. Every race on earth has experienced it. Nor is it anywhere nearly as pernicious as its portrayed.
                    Misandry is completely manufactured. Thus, those who benefit from it will go to any lengths to prove it, even to aa blatant denial of reality. They need to justify their hate, and their huge income from it.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by MarioHong View Post
                      A bit about myself:

                      I'm an over-weight ugly uneducated (I had a chance to get my diploma but my aggressive behaviour that came from the fact that I couldn't get a girlfriend made me over-aggressive towards everyone and this robbed me of that chance) man with no social skills, no friends, and no future, and no chance of ever having a career of any kind thankfully for my son he's compensated for that with a beautiful, fit, highly educated woman with a high paid career, lots of friends and a loving family, because my family doesn't want to associate with me and I've met family members that put up an illusion of not being related to me by blood simply to distance themselves from my anti-social behaviours (being quiet, or talking too much, I'm always the wrong one in everyone's minds) so my son will (thankfully) only know his mother's family. To put it short, I'm a loser and my wife's a winner and I hope that my son will take more after his mother than me...
                      .
                      I have no advice for you, but hey, if you're wife's a winner, then you must be some kind of winner too! If you're overweight you can lose weight, if you're uneducated you can get educated, and if you're ugly then you must have one hell of an oscar meyer weiner! >;-)
                      Stay single and prosper!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I don't really know much about the Netherlands or Vietnam in particular.
                        But after living in the US and in Japan, I can tell you that I feel a huge mistake in returning to America.

                        Here in the West, people are still laughing at us. They're just hiding it. For example, I worked in a toxic female workplace here in the US where the girls would pretend like they were my best friends and then gossip about me and spy on me all the time. I found out about this when I happened to stumble upon them chatting about me on the office text message service.

                        In retrospect, I think I preferred it in Japan when people would just say things like, "You're getting fat," to me in person. Or kids pointing at me and saying, "foreigner!". It may have been annoying, but at least you knew where you stood with them.

                        Of course, this is all from an adult perspective.

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