Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Apparently, I am a callous bastard because I don't want women taking advantage of me

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Zuberi
    replied
    Apparently, I'm a chest thumping misogynist from hell for not sympathizing with bastard baby makers who collect welfare.

    Leave a comment:


  • pbisque
    replied
    You should consider putting some distance between you and your family. You don't have to disown them. Just move several states away and tell them you will call them when you get a new phone. Drag it out. Call them occasionally from public phones if those even exist these days. Give em as long as it takes for you to feel free of their influence and never let them get their hooks in again.

    Be angry for a while. Just don't dwell in it. It may come back in waves over a year or so. Just let it be. Acknowledge it, and release it.

    Cognitively you certainly understand you are doing the right thing. Emotionally and psychologically you may not. You really need some time away from them to work on that part. Once you are away from them and start to feel really healthy, perhaps for the first time ever, it will get easier.

    This is what worked for me in my situation. As always, this is just one guys opinion. Take what works from it, leave the rest.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jack H.
    replied
    Mathison what you describe as strength I know as wrath, it is a terrible thing indeed when you make a decision, and then executing that decision without any self-doubt, without any deviation from your course, with out any remorse or even any emotion.
    often it takes far more strength to let those emotions out by yelling, hit something which will not feel it and damages only yourself and to turn and walk away,
    least you make that irreversible decision which will carry you forward with dead eyes and a dead heart until the job is done.

    when your natural reaction rather than express your anger honestly is to take that anger and lock it away deep inside well; a little firecracker popping on the sidewalk is loud but relatively harmless but if you take that same firecracker and wrap your fist around it tightly the damage it will do when it goes off is tremendous.

    Leave a comment:


  • OzzieMatt
    replied
    Thank you for your post, Beat.

    I have had a similar situation with my family. My mother and yours could be twins.

    You're on the right track, mate.

    Leave a comment:


  • KikiSpaghetti
    replied
    Originally posted by Beat View Post
    I am of the opinion that anger in itself is neutral. I am not going to pound my fists against any walls, I am just going to acknowledge that the anger is there, and move on with my life. If anger in itself equated to pure weakness, we may as well say that every human is weak. Emotions are emotions and everybody is irrational with those at times. Actions are what make a man.
    There is a saying in psychology in recent years that you are the sole controller of your feelings. While I have to disagree on NUMEROUS levels (for one, your response is instantaneous due to the amygdala and stress response, a biological function), but it is indeed in your power to control your actions and halt thought processes ONCE YOU HAVE IDENTIFIED A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOUR. Only then can you anticipate, prepare and respond appropriately and it's really, really, really, really, really hard. Anger is a normal, healthy reaction to many events; it is what you do with it. Anger is often a wonderful motivator to go forth and make change, take action, etc. While this can also fuel a dangerous fire, it can be the spark of a great something. This movement, for instance. The anger, frustration and sadness with some realization and epiphany and boom. MHRM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Beat
    replied
    Originally posted by Mathison View Post
    I don't want to get too Buddhist here, but I think it's important to say this to you: anger is not strength. Anger is weakness. Anger is what happens when you want to be strong, but you can't be strong, so you beat your fists against the walls just so you can feel your muscles work. And you accomplish nothing in the process, except perhaps bruising your fists and damaging your walls.

    True strength lies in making a decision, and then executing that decision without any self-doubt, without any deviation from your course, but also without anger.

    If your mom says "Get back with your girlfriend" and you say "Yes, mum," that's weakness.
    If your mom says "Get back with your girlfriend" and you say "FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU!" that's also weakness.
    If your mom says "Get back with your girlfriend" and you say "Mom, I love you, but seriously, that's very bad advice. I won't be doing that" - that is strength.

    This is a concept that's served me very well throughout my life: yelling is the equivalent of pulling your pants down and taking a shit on the floor. It's beneath human dignity. It never gets you anything. It's utterly unacceptable human behavior. There is never a need for it, and if you succumb to it, you've already lost.

    Sorry to get all preachy, but, well, I feel like this is something that needs to be said more often.
    I am of the opinion that anger in itself is neutral. I am not going to pound my fists against any walls, I am just going to acknowledge that the anger is there, and move on with my life. If anger in itself equated to pure weakness, we may as well say that every human is weak. Emotions are emotions and everybody is irrational with those at times. Actions are what make a man.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mathison
    replied
    Originally posted by Beat View Post
    Yeah, I finally decided to take a stand against my family. My mother has made it more than clear that she wants me to live through my life as a perpetually castrated doormat, and she has managed to turn the rest of the family against me under the lie that I was born with cognitive and intellectual disabilities.

    It has recently been proven that my cognitive abilities are perfectly fine, and that I generally have a very good idea of what is going on around me. And anybody who truly has an intellectual disability would never score above 150 on a Mensa test.

    My mother has received restraining orders from my doctors and therapists in the past, because she was harassing them by leaving messages telling them not to listen to me, but to her instead. Her excuse? She did it "because she loves me". Yeah, she only says she "loves" me in a patronizing way. It is easier for her to tell herself that I am broken beyond repair than it is for her to take responsibility for her own actions. So, when she says she "loves" me, she says she loves using her delusions of who I am to boost her own self-image. Kinda like how she would look upon a limbless dog.

    Funny, the more I try to reject the perpetual victim mentality, the more I realize that I have every right to be pissed off about all of this. The more I empower myself, the more I realize just how fucked-up everything is. I take back my balls, and I gain a sense of deep-seated rage. I was powerless when I was a child. But I am a child no more. I am accepting that I will never find anything affirming in a positive light from my bloodline. With acceptance comes anger. But through this anger comes the motivation to not give their words any more value than what they deserve.
    I don't want to get too Buddhist here, but I think it's important to say this to you: anger is not strength. Anger is weakness. Anger is what happens when you want to be strong, but you can't be strong, so you beat your fists against the walls just so you can feel your muscles work. And you accomplish nothing in the process, except perhaps bruising your fists and damaging your walls.

    True strength lies in making a decision, and then executing that decision without any self-doubt, without any deviation from your course, but also without anger.

    If your mom says "Get back with your girlfriend" and you say "Yes, mum," that's weakness.
    If your mom says "Get back with your girlfriend" and you say "FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU!" that's also weakness.
    If your mom says "Get back with your girlfriend" and you say "Mom, I love you, but seriously, that's very bad advice. I won't be doing that" - that is strength.

    This is a concept that's served me very well throughout my life: yelling is the equivalent of pulling your pants down and taking a shit on the floor. It's beneath human dignity. It never gets you anything. It's utterly unacceptable human behavior. There is never a need for it, and if you succumb to it, you've already lost.

    Sorry to get all preachy, but, well, I feel like this is something that needs to be said more often.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rwkropf
    replied
    I do believe we have a rather annoying spambot on our forums.

    Edit: looks like the post got deleted
    Last edited by Rwkropf; 07-09-2014, 09:43 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Super Ginrai
    replied
    Here's to being Callous Bastards! Let our Callousness be everlasting.

    Leave a comment:


  • Beat
    replied
    Let us drink to being callous bastards, then. I'll buy the first round.

    Leave a comment:


  • bigboy83
    replied
    I guess I'm a callous bastard too, oh well.

    Leave a comment:


  • Beat
    replied
    Yeah, I finally decided to take a stand against my family. My mother has made it more than clear that she wants me to live through my life as a perpetually castrated doormat, and she has managed to turn the rest of the family against me under the lie that I was born with cognitive and intellectual disabilities.

    It has recently been proven that my cognitive abilities are perfectly fine, and that I generally have a very good idea of what is going on around me. And anybody who truly has an intellectual disability would never score above 150 on a Mensa test.

    My mother has received restraining orders from my doctors and therapists in the past, because she was harassing them by leaving messages telling them not to listen to me, but to her instead. Her excuse? She did it "because she loves me". Yeah, she only says she "loves" me in a patronizing way. It is easier for her to tell herself that I am broken beyond repair than it is for her to take responsibility for her own actions. So, when she says she "loves" me, she says she loves using her delusions of who I am to boost her own self-image. Kinda like how she would look upon a limbless dog.

    Funny, the more I try to reject the perpetual victim mentality, the more I realize that I have every right to be pissed off about all of this. The more I empower myself, the more I realize just how fucked-up everything is. I take back my balls, and I gain a sense of deep-seated rage. I was powerless when I was a child. But I am a child no more. I am accepting that I will never find anything affirming in a positive light from my bloodline. With acceptance comes anger. But through this anger comes the motivation to not give their words any more value than what they deserve.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mathison
    replied
    You know, when I was 19 years old, my parents took me to a therapist because I was dropping out of college and had moved my girlfriend into my apartment.

    And that therapist sized up the situation and said "Well, this might not be the advice your parents are paying for, but it's the advice that's going to fix the problem. The most important sentence you'll ever learn is 'Mom, Dad, I love you and I appreciate the advice, but I'm not going to take it. I've made my own decision."

    Possibly the most important advice anyone has ever given me. Ever.

    This woman is obviously toxic, but even more toxic is your relationship with your family, where for whatever reason, you find it difficult to say "Mom, Dad, Grandma, whatever, I love you and I appreciate the advice, but I've got to make a decision here."

    You've known for a long time what needs to be done; congratulations on doing it, and sorry it took so long.

    For all the whining about how your decision was "very sad," at the end of the day, people have more respect for those who make hard decisions and carry them out, even ones that may be unpopular at the time.

    Leave a comment:


  • Nateyj11
    replied
    It's not selfish to do things for yourself, selfishness comes when you ask others to do things for you. And if you coerce or manipulate others into doing things for you it goes beyond selfish into the territory of abuse.

    I can't remember who said that first sentence, and the second is my own addition, but I'd say it's a pretty good yardstick. If someone asks you for something they have no right to ask for it's them who are being selfish for asking, not you who are being selfish for refusing. If you want to do it there's no problem, but always remember that there's no reason on this earth to be ashamed of saying no to an unreasonable demand, no matter what guilt they may try to pile on you. In the case of this old psychopath she's gone beyond selfish into the realm of abuse, and you are perfectly reasonable in breaking contact with her, no matter what anyone else may say.

    Leave a comment:


  • Dr Van Nostrand
    replied
    Originally posted by Beat View Post
    I was born into a family where generation after generation of mothers treated their children like surrogate spouses. And I am insensitive and judgmental because I dare to speak out about how totally fucked up it is that the mothers in my bloodline love their sons as if they were men; a vicarious and/or covert sexual release sometimes, and a blatant whipping post at others.

    I am tired of letting the cunts in the world use me as a doormat. I am tired of being labeled as hateful or insensitive just because I refuse to let anybody take of advantage of me at this point in my life. I am tired of women that look at my past diagnosis and see me as an easy target to boost their own ego.

    I am tired of people telling me that it is "very sad" that I refuse to let this woman back into my life. It is not sad. It is liberating. What would truly be sad is if I let her back into my life and I continued to enable her predatory behavior. Women like her need to face the consequences of their actions. It is not politically correct to make statements like that, I know. But fuck political correctness. If it enables leeches, it has no useful purpose in society.

    It seems to that your family is toxic , sorry to say. I wouldn't be surprised if they are responsible for previous mental health problems in someway or another. This womans presence is a symptom of the toxicity. Cut out your family no matter how painful it is and you will make the woman disappear in no time.
    You are still young. Go MGTOW , change your last name if necessary , travel/work abroad. Start afresh. Leave behind poisonous environments and peoples

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X