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  • Knowing is half the battle.

    I've read a lot of post here before. I read one written by a woman here that gave advice to women who want to come here, it stated that "no one wants to hear your life story." However i think its going to be hard to find a connection between struggles and build a report if we cant find common ground from one life to another's, right?

    Anyway i see myself a humanist. I carried this label from when i was open about my atheism. I honestly just found out feminism and MRAs was last year. I am black, so most of my civil rights (slack)tavism steams to help racial inequality. I feel this is important for yall to know b.c its easy for me to extend my empathy to other minority groups such as LGBT and the like. B/c from what i have learned, its always a misunderstanding for what we see on the outside, and not getting to know more individuals on a deeper level.

    The men in my life. I have had nothing but great men in my life. My bio dad was never around, lolz. But that never really effected me like i guess it would some people. My mother, yes a "strong black woman" did very well raising me and was very good at picking out great men to date right up to when she decided to get married(my step dad is amazing and i love him). I have a lot of male friends that great in their own right. Some of course are assholes. Same goes for the women in my life. I have been in relationships with men who have had women ruin their lives. An ex of mine , still fighting a statutory rape case b/c some stupid 15 year old couldnt take being told no to. A great friend fighting for full custody from his fucking crazy ex wife who had the nerve to get knocked up during the divorce and now verbally abuses her children she had with my friend. Not to mention took 100K from my friend. This stuff needs to change.

    I wanted to come here, mostly to lurk and get a better understanding of this seemingly invisible problem that is hurting men. ( i say invisible , b/c like i said, i just found out about this stuff last year.) Also since now feminism and MRAs are creeping onto a world i am deeply involved in. The gaming industry and the cosplay world. I'd like everything to be peachy. I am friendly and may piss you off with stuff i have to say but know that i am asking questions, they are just for me to get a better understanding. I pride myself on seeing different points of view and even if i dont agree, i'd like to understand. So i may ask dumb or silly questions but know i am trying to get at every angle to grasp the concept.

    So thanks for allowing me in.
    “If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to
    yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight."

  • #2
    Welcome to AVFM

    Originally posted by Ro-bot View Post
    I've read a lot of post here before. I read one written by a woman here that gave advice to women who want to come here, it stated that "no one wants to hear your life story." However i think its going to be hard to find a connection between struggles and build a report if we cant find common ground from one life to another's, right?
    I agree

    Originally posted by Ro-bot View Post
    Anyway i see myself a humanist. I carried this label from when i was open about my atheism. I honestly just found out feminism and MRAs was last year. I am black, so most of my civil rights (slack)tavism steams to help racial inequality. I feel this is important for yall to know b.c its easy for me to extend my empathy to other minority groups such as LGBT and the like. B/c from what i have learned, its always a misunderstanding for what we see on the outside, and not getting to know more individuals on a deeper level.
    It is interesting how you use race as a way to show empathy, but just to let you know, race doesn't mean much here.

    Originally posted by Ro-bot View Post
    I wanted to come here, mostly to lurk and get a better understanding of this seemingly invisible problem that is hurting men. ( i say invisible , b/c like i said, i just found out about this stuff last year.) Also since now feminism and MRAs are creeping onto a world i am deeply involved in. The gaming industry and the cosplay world. I'd like everything to be peachy. I am friendly and may piss you off with stuff i have to say but know that i am asking questions, they are just for me to get a better understanding. I pride myself on seeing different points of view and even if i dont agree, i'd like to understand. So i may ask dumb or silly questions but know i am trying to get at every angle to grasp the concept.
    It is good to see that you are interested about the problems of others, don't worry about pissing us off

    Originally posted by Ro-bot View Post
    So thanks for allowing me in.
    No problem, and once again welcome.

    Comment


    • #3
      of course race will probably not be a discussion here. which would be great. just in my experience being a black woman, i have dealt with a lot of hate and misconceptions b.c of how i look . people think they should fear me b/c of what ever they were told. i feel that something men are facing a lot today b.c of this new wave feminism. "oh look, a man! watch out!"

      thank you again.
      “If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to
      yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight."

      Comment


      • #4
        Welcome to the Forums.
        "You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius

        "Natural ability without education has more often raised a man to glory and virtue than education without natural ability." - Marcus Aurelius

        "Draw from your past, but do not let your past draw from you." - Bra'tac of Chulak (Stargate SG-1)

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        • #5
          I'm a newbie here but I'll add my welcome....

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Ro-bot View Post
            I've read a lot of post here before. I read one written by a woman here that gave advice to women who want to come here, it stated that "no one wants to hear your life story." However i think its going to be hard to find a connection between struggles and build a report if we cant find common ground from one life to another's, right?
            I think everything that we are is a result of our life story. The struggles, the fights, the injustices, the moments of fear, joy and just fumbling along in life is what is key to our point-of-view. Who we are now has so many dependencies on who we have been and those seminal experiences that we have. I personally believe that two things shape us the most. The first is what I call the river of life... it's the combination of all of the little things that have happened to us temporally. The many moments and experiences that we either don't remember or barely remember... we might even remember them incorrectly. These are the things that shape us imperceptibly, slowly - just like the water cuts the rock and makes the canyon. Then, there are the moments that are singular experiences - the moments in time that impact us so much and that are omnipresent in our minds forever. These can be like earthquakes - shifting that river that had been flowing so nicely for a while. All of these parts of ones life are critical, because they are part of the equation of who we are. Sharing your story and your insights is a wonderful thing and can result in feedback that provides you insights you never would have had otherwise.

            Besides, anyone that does not want to read what you have to say can easily move onto the next thread....

            I assume you are talking about GameGate... oh, I could go on about that bit of silliness.... My response to those folks is go code or go home. They simply have way to much time on their hands. Just my opinion, of course.

            Comment


            • #7
              thank you so much for that. it was beautiful and refreshing. it also puts me at ease b/c in some instances where i have tried to approach those who identify as MRA i am met with much push back and dismissed b/c yeah, i am a woman, but i am a human first. and i care about humans.

              GG oh geez dont get me started. haha. how i feel about it: dont put so much faith in game critics, go out and find games you like, I'd love more diversity in games but i wont stop playing them just b/c there isnt. games are art. you see what you want to see. get what you want to get out of it.

              thank you again for the warm welcomes!
              “If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to
              yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight."

              Comment


              • #8
                Give the forums a day or two. You will get your push back. This is a very diverse group of guys. Most of us have been hurt to one degree or another by either a woman, women, or they system. As a general rule, you will get more push back from those who have been hurt by more women.

                If you are not familiar with the concept of NAWALT, get familiar. That is likely to be the angle that most of the push back will come from.
                I used to think collapse was inevitable. Now I realize it is necessary.

                It was only a matter of time before the bicycles realized that they in fact did not need the fish.

                Comment


                • #9
                  @pbisque

                  yeah i can imagine and i will try to avoid getting into with a member here with that NAWALT. Even though its something i believe b/c growing up i hear tons of horrible opinions and anecdotal evidence that people like to throw out there as fact when it comes to people that share my race/color. i think its unfair and hinders progression and understanding but if you rather believe that way, fine.
                  “If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to
                  yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Welcome to the AVFM forums Ro=bot, it's always great to welcome people who might have different perspectives.
                    “No one is free who has not obtained the empire of himself. No man is free who cannot command himself.”
                    ― Pythagoras

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      thank you! @malcolm, i look forward to learning a lot as well =)
                      “If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to
                      yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight."

                      Comment


                      • #12

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          hahah thats right!
                          “If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to
                          yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Ro-bot View Post
                            of course race will probably not be a discussion here. which would be great. just in my experience being a black woman, i have dealt with a lot of hate and misconceptions b.c of how i look . people think they should fear me b/c of what ever they were told. i feel that something men are facing a lot today b.c of this new wave feminism. "oh look, a man! watch out!"

                            thank you again.
                            They fear you for two very very VERY good reasons. You're black, and you're a woman. It's called victim status, you got two... three, you're also an atheist, though atheists aren't classified as victims, only targets... like white males.

                            Look, you're black, you carry a race card in your back pocket. Technically I carry a race card too, for being a native halfbreed; but I'm a pale city indian, I burnt my race card growing up. This doesn't mean I'm not an ist; I can still be called racist, for I can't stand reserve status injuns. The Canadian Indian Act is what ALL minority victim classes want, american blacks call it reparations; call it what it is, fucking hand outs, and they do no fucking favors to no fucking one, just look at the canadian fuckin injuns. Yeah, yer black, and covered with discrimination laws protecting your blackness; now your know, and knowing is half the battle.

                            You're a woman. Let's just put your blackness aside for a moment... no, it doesn't matter; you're a woman, it's a victim class all on it's own, but has the specialness of compounding legislated victim status'. You're a societal danger all male passers-by (minus those who make you wet... for the moment, until you change your mind); hell, you can order a cop to do a hit on your husband, and still walk, you can murder your lover in his sleep, and cry your way out of court.

                            Now add the reputation of mary povishes black bitches, and ask again why people fear your "looks".

                            Thankfully you're not a feminist, as yet to be found out. Are you a lesbian? Bi? Vegan? Skinny? Fat? Ugly? Impoverished? Tally up your list of victim status'; I'd like to trip them all right away, that way we all will know where we stand.

                            You make mention of your absent dad, and your single mom who fucked around, and how you turned out alright. For your sake, I really hope so; but you've already mentioned elsewhere that you've dated older guys. Tell me, did you hit puberty earlier than average? When did you lose your virginity? Just how sexually active were your teens? I do hope you were one of those blesseds who floated angelically past your likely statistics. Why is it you don't want kids? Did your mommy have to smack you around to tune you in occasionally?

                            If you aren't angry yet, do come back. And if you are angry now... come back anyhow.
                            RWBY is Legend. Honey Badgers

                            Women Against Feminism.

                            Logic trumps ignorance, but emotion retards edification.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Welcome.

                              I just wanted to comment that I think I know what you mean about "invisible" problems. It's very easy to stay ignorant, and even blissful, of problems that don't effect us directly. I know I am guilty of it. I can only speak for myself, and as such I will say a big part of it is the incredible headache from thinking about very tragic things which I have no power to avert motivates me to not pay attention to it. I think most people just want to live their lives and be left alone to it.
                              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_sY2rjxq6M

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