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  • About To Be Homeless

    I'm divorced going on 2 years now and have been unable to recover financially. I lost everything in my divorce, we had just bought a house, used my credit to fill it with things and my bank account was emptied of my life's savings of about $12,500.

    Forced to move back home with my parents at the age of 38, going on 39 was OK...not ideal but OK. Ir was nice to imagine I had a support system during this. I was very grateful to have a place to keep the wind off me, I suppose. "A 'man' does not allow his wife to hit him and then allow his marriage to fail" is a great line from my old man. It then started to become very clear I was not welcome here as a failed man, husband and father.

    However, they've recently announced they will be moving and I am not invited.

    I am about to be homeless as I have no money whatsoever. Due to one single summer that had me at fault in three major car accidents, I was dropped from my car insurance. I managed to get it back, and I pay $624 a month in car insurance.

    After child support, taxes and that one single bill I am left with -$112 income per month.

    Suicide is becoming the clear solution here.

  • #2
    Originally posted by -Paul- View Post
    I'm divorced going on 2 years now and have been unable to recover financially. I lost everything in my divorce, we had just bought a house, used my credit to fill it with things and my bank account was emptied of my life's savings of about $12,500.

    Forced to move back home with my parents at the age of 38, going on 39 was OK...not ideal but OK. Ir was nice to imagine I had a support system during this. I was very grateful to have a place to keep the wind off me, I suppose. "A 'man' does not allow his wife to hit him and then allow his marriage to fail" is a great line from my old man. It then started to become very clear I was not welcome here as a failed man, husband and father.

    However, they've recently announced they will be moving and I am not invited.

    I am about to be homeless as I have no money whatsoever. Due to one single summer that had me at fault in three major car accidents, I was dropped from my car insurance. I managed to get it back, and I pay $624 a month in car insurance.

    After child support, taxes and that one single bill I am left with -$112 income per month.

    Suicide is becoming the clear solution here.

    That's really hard to hear. Awful, awful experience to live through. I'm sure we can get a plan in place for you to start recovering. Where abouts do you live? You have any friends that come to mind that could lend you their couch?

    Comment


    • #3
      We can maybe find someone on this forum that can open up their couch to you and help get you back on track. You can also try couchsurfing.org, maybe a hostile nearby? Even a homeless shelter. Let's get you back up!

      Comment


      • #4
        Where I live there are lots of creative ways to eat for free at least. If I were homeless I would rely on the blood donation clinic's free food cafe (I use to volunteer there and their policy on homeless people coming in was to just feed them), those restaurants like Lintels which let you choose what to pay (or not to pay), churches and mosques which give away food and other things (like clothes) to the homeless, and other similar things. Personally, I would try to avoid shelters most of the time because of the many dangers.

        And I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but if I was in your position I wouldn't hang around to live a homeless life or try to rebuild my life in a state which has so maliciously done its best to destroy me. I would leave to some other place.

        But whatever you choose to do, don't kill yourself. You can endure any hardship. Anything is better than death.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_sY2rjxq6M

        Comment


        • #5
          First things first. We would recommend that you don't kill yourself as it would be a waste of sapient life. Second, if you post your general location we may have a member close by who'd be kind enough to give you a roof to sleep under while you get back on your feet.

          Comment


          • #6
            That's a hard situation to say the least.

            Can you tell us where you're living right now? It's hard to give any advice if we don't even know what country you're in. If I knew that I was about to become homeless, I'd try to get my butt to the west coast of British Columbia (Canada). At least you could live outside without worrying about freezing to death. Will your parents spring money for a bus ticket?

            Are you in good enough physical condition to join the military? Canada will take people up to age forty if you're still physically fit...
            Last edited by Autolite; 08-16-2014, 03:02 PM.
            "The truth is sometimes a poor competitor in the market of ideas" George F. Kennan

            Comment


            • #7
              Mate, that sucks, especially the extremely ill considered &, if you don't mind me saying, butt-fucking ignorant, comments from your father.

              Yes, as others have said, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT kill yourself. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem &, I know it doesn't feel like it now but, trust me, your problems are temporary. Many of the guys here have been through similar experiences and have come out the other side. There is hope, I promise you that.

              The first step is to let us know where you are so we can find some sort of accommodation & support for you, whether that be a shelter, a cheap rental or someone's couch.

              If you really don't feel comfortable with that though, there are services available. Damn few for men, I admit, but they are available. However, we'd need to have at least a vague idea of where you are located before we could refer you to them.

              You have a support network here, let us help you.
              Women who say they want to be treated just like men obviously don't know how men are treated.

              While it may be true that a fish has little need of a bicycle, the bicycle has even less need of the fish.

              Interested in men's rights activism in the Sydney area?
              Go to http://www.mensrightssydney.com/

              Comment


              • #8
                Paul,

                please check your listed email account and contact me at the number I gave you.

                Al

                Comment


                • #9
                  So glad you are on this & you're taking action TMOTS. I've been staying up & watching the thread in case he came back but it's past 3am here now. I can sleep with a clear conscience now.
                  Women who say they want to be treated just like men obviously don't know how men are treated.

                  While it may be true that a fish has little need of a bicycle, the bicycle has even less need of the fish.

                  Interested in men's rights activism in the Sydney area?
                  Go to http://www.mensrightssydney.com/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I live in western MA, Springfield area...and if I haven't been able to get it together in the time since the divorce, living here for FREE, I doubt I'll be able to do it any time soon. Thank you guys for taking notice.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thank you for having the courage to post your story!

                      More guys in your situation need to spread the word reference the destruction and devastation that is caused by marriage/divorce if the majority of men are to ever wake up. Who knows? By starting this thread you might have just saved one other guy from the same fate...
                      "The truth is sometimes a poor competitor in the market of ideas" George F. Kennan

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        We are here Paul. Use us as a sounding board. You will find a great many men (and yes women) here that are very caring and good folks. Talk to us. Share only what you feel comfortable with sharing, but use us... Some of us have gone through what you appear to be and may be able to tell you how they got through or are working through it. Even those with different issues could be of help. Support one another.

                        Full disclosure, there are a couple of folks here that have indeed helped others in the past. More often than not, just being able to talk about it, get it off your chest, bounce ideas about.. helps allot for many people... DO NOT be afraid nor ashamed to talk to us....

                        I call upon all my brethren here to support each and every one of our membership - friends - here on the AVfM Forums. This is what men need.. We need to help one another the best we can.

                        Last thing I must add. As much as I hate saying it, no one here is professional - including me. I do not think we have anyone here that is trained/educated/certified/licensed in helping depression so take what you read here as you will. What I CAN say is what I said above, there are many guys here that have gone or are going through things similar and I would gather that some sort of comradely can be had. A sort of swapping notes and supporting of one another.

                        Here is an internet based chat line for those in distress. There is no shame in asking for help. http://www.remedylive.com/?gclid=CLX...Fa_m7AodWzYAWQ

                        Also here is a text based crisis line that could help. http://www.crisistextline.org/textli...FSsV7AodMSwAAA

                        Here is the National Helpline. http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

                        And this goes for anyone that may be in crisis or just feeling overwhelmed or lost. PLEASE do NOT hesitate. Call immediately. There IS help out there. Please folks.

                        Al

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hi Paul,

                          I have been doing some research online & found the following web site that may be of help to you.

                          http://www.fohspringfield.org

                          The organisation is called "Friends of the Homeless". They are located right in Springfield at 755 Worthington St. (I assume you will know where that is, I'm on the other side of the planet so I have no idea - Greetings from Sydney, Australia by the way!).

                          They have a shelter (which if it is anything like shelters here, I would avoid unless desperate), but they also have a resource centre to help you get back on your feet (clothing, financial advice, health care, etc.), they provide free meals &, most importantly for you, they have affordable housing (dormitory style single apartments), located in Springfield. I'm no expert but, after looking at MA eligibility criteria, it appears to me that this will cost you no more than 30% of your income, whatever that income is. I would check with them though because I am by no means an expert on this stuff.

                          Their contact number is: (413) 732 3069.

                          I sincerely hope this is helpful to you mate.

                          Hang in there brother. You have a large community of people who care about you here. Stick around, share your story, & hear from other guys who have been where you are now. It can really help.

                          TV
                          Last edited by tvsinesperanto; 08-17-2014, 05:34 PM.
                          Women who say they want to be treated just like men obviously don't know how men are treated.

                          While it may be true that a fish has little need of a bicycle, the bicycle has even less need of the fish.

                          Interested in men's rights activism in the Sydney area?
                          Go to http://www.mensrightssydney.com/

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I will give them a try, thanks for looking all those places up.

                            It's just going to be so hard because I have such little income...After everything is said and done I bring home less than $200 a week.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by -Paul- View Post
                              I will give them a try, thanks for looking all those places up.
                              You are more than welcome mate.

                              Originally posted by -Paul- View Post
                              It's just going to be so hard because I have such little income...After everything is said and done I bring home less than $200 a week.
                              Well, looking at the silver lining, that would mean you'd be paying under $60 a week for rent if you manage to snag one of those affordable housing apartments. Plus, if you qualify for free meals & other services, you may actually find yourself better off than you are now. Or at least no worse.

                              Is there any way that you can live without your car? It seems, from what you've said, that it's your car & it's associated costs that is really draining your wallet at the moment. Just a suggestion. You know your needs, & your local public transport system, far better than I.

                              You might also want to see if you can get some free legal advice on getting your child support reduced. It is my understanding that it is difficult but if you can visit a free legal service, at least you attempt it without incurring any additional costs.

                              There is a Community Legal Aid service Office in Springfield (1 Monarch Place), you may want to contact them & see if they can help you. I have used free legal services myself on occasion & have always found them to be excellent & very helpful (if a bit rushed for time). No idea what these guys are like but if they are anything like what I've seen here, they should be able to help you out considerably. You can check out their services at:

                              http://www.communitylegal.org

                              Hope this is of help.

                              TV
                              Last edited by tvsinesperanto; 08-17-2014, 07:53 PM. Reason: Typo fixes
                              Women who say they want to be treated just like men obviously don't know how men are treated.

                              While it may be true that a fish has little need of a bicycle, the bicycle has even less need of the fish.

                              Interested in men's rights activism in the Sydney area?
                              Go to http://www.mensrightssydney.com/

                              Comment

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