Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Women without compromises

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Women without compromises

    Hey guys

    just wanted some advice,

    I've been going with my partner for around 4 years now and to start with she was kind and caring and wanted to do things with me.. she is and was overweight when I started going with her and I always tried to give her incentive to eat healthy and lose weight.. (im taking very overweight here)..

    lately though for the last year or so she has become grumpy, almost silent, not wanting to do anything with me. we use to walk our dogs together. im wondering if its the ' menopause’

    she is a from a hot country (Italy) and insists on the heater being on even in summer sometimes and still sits with a blanket around her. ive told her its about her circulation as she's not moving but of course she simply ignores it.. saying im talking nonsense.. Of course with her not moving her weight has got even worse now and she's struggling to actually walk.. The inability to admit the truth and to take advice is driving me crazy .. in winter she insists on cooking the entire house, im from Ireland so really acclimatised to the cold.. but the level of heat she needs is amazing..

    She is Never wrong and never compromises with anything and any apology from her has to be pulled from her then she doesn't mean it

    she is in daily up and down moods 3-4 times a day every day, and the other week while in one of her moods she said 'she doesn't want to hurt me ' and 'she doesn't know what she wants anymore' so of course that meant me so I thought, she denied it was me but two weeks alter she admitted she meant me and she was just 'down at the time'

    on top of these she fails to see anything I do to maintain the house, even though im walking 2-3 hours a day with the dogs and cleaning rooms etc..


    Just wondered is this a typical middle aged women? this is normal behaviour?

    Any help or advice would be appreciated

  • #2
    Are you serious? Sorry but I can no longer tell these days. You used the word "partner" instead of "wife". If this is true, then get out now. You've already wasted enough time. Here are a few truths for you to consider.

    1) You can't fix anyone but yourself.
    2) Time will only make it worse.
    3) This woman thinks you have no options. This happens because guys like you stay with women like this.

    Get it in your head man. You are better than this. You are the prize. Extract yourself from this now before she has an "oops" baby.
    I used to think collapse was inevitable. Now I realize it is necessary.

    It was only a matter of time before the bicycles realized that they in fact did not need the fish.

    Comment


    • #3
      hi pbisque

      thanks for the reply, yes im serious. I do love this women but it very much seems one way now.. I seen a real difference today when going to the local shop when coming across another guy she knows she was all smiles, and talky etc exactly how she use to be with me.. which got me thinking of course..

      The phycology of her not caring anymore is interesting, I it could be down to what you say that she thinks I have no options then she sees that or interprets that as weakness or vulnerability which then makes her view me differently.. is this common behaviour with women you speak as if you have seen this very many times before on these forums?

      i have noticed that everything is my fault now, and everything regarding me is negative.. so even though something was clearly her fault she will twist it onto me as if i was to blame even if i wasnt even there at the time.. its crazy

      anyways thanks for you're advice

      Comment


      • #4
        The party that cares least about the relationship...is the one in control.

        With my mental Ex, when I worked it out, I called it the cage I locked myself into without a key.
        "Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one" - Charles Mackay

        And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee. - Donne

        "What we are seeing in this headless misandry is a grand display of the Tyranny of the Underdog: 'I am a wretchedly longstanding victim; therefore I own no burden of adult accountability, nor need to honor any restraint against my words and actions. In fact, all efforts to restrain me are only further proof of my oppressed condition.'
        "It is the most perfect trump-card against accountable living ever devised." - Gladden Schrock

        "What remains for most men in modern life is a world of expectation without reward, burden without honor and service without self" - Paul Elam

        Comment


        • #5
          So you're partnered with an unpleasant fat woman who resents you, won't listen to anything you say, and is working her way towards being so obese that she will eventually become immobile.

          Sounds pretty miserable to me. I wouldn't put up with that.
          “No one is free who has not obtained the empire of himself. No man is free who cannot command himself.”
          ― Pythagoras

          Comment


          • #6
            @worriedguy,

            Go to therationalmale.com and read at least all of his year one stuff. Better yet, get at least his first two books. It is where I have learned the most about female behavior. I find his later and more current stuff to be less useful. It's still useful, but it is more like sussing out subtleties. The heavy lifting was all done in his early works.

            Basically you have triggered her hypergamy in some way. She has decided she can do better than you. It doesn't have to actually be true, she just has to feel it is. Sorry but learning game is a bit of a necessity. That doesn't mean you have to become a PUA. IMHO there is a lot of downside to that lifestyle. You have to learn game though to know what went wrong.

            Here is the sad fact of life you will have to contend with. Male thirst is at an all time high. That means your girl, as big as she is, is probably still getting positive feedback from other guys in her life. You on the other hand have probably been a "nice guy" your whole life. You probably gave up almost all contact with other women. When she looks at you, she sees that no other women are interested in you. Women are big on social proof. They want to to know other women want their guy. I'm willing to bet she doesn't see that at all when she looks at you because you did the nice guy thing and stayed true to your girl by giving up almost all contact with other women.

            This does not mean you need to cheat. It is simply that she needs to know you could if you wanted to. Women in today's world though have a very skewed view of life. Let's assume she is a 5 and you are a 6. Normally, that should mean you control the relationship. Today though, a female 5 probably thinks she "deserves" a 7 because male thirst has distorted things that badly.

            This is the reason I said "This happens because guys like you stay with women like this." Men today have lost all their ability to impose standards on women at all. Fempowerment means women deserve what ever they want. Guys on the other hand are viewed as shallow for having any of their own desires or preferences at all.

            She can tell how much you love her and deep inside it makes her sick to her stomach that she is with an optionless guy that would never have the stones to leave her. Look around the sphere and see how valuable a Zero F's Given attitude is. From the situation you describe, I'm willing to bet you don't have one.

            Read about shit tests as well. I bet you are failing all of them. You are showing her that you have lost your spine buy putting up with her shit. It is exceedingly difficult to turn this type of situation around. Once you have lost the respect of a woman it is almost impossible to regain.

            So here it is in a nutshell. If you want to stay on the softer side of the red pill, then read "No more Mr. Nice guy" by Glover and do that. Otherwise, I suggest a few weeks of meditating on the question "Why am I still with this woman?" When you realize there is no good answer, than it is simply time to walk away.
            I used to think collapse was inevitable. Now I realize it is necessary.

            It was only a matter of time before the bicycles realized that they in fact did not need the fish.

            Comment


            • #7
              Judging from your choice of the word 'partner,' I take it you aren't married yet.

              You should choose your future spouse for the compatibility of your characters, so you should ask yourself why you are staying with her. Just remember that until you're married, you have no obligation towards her.

              I got sucked into my first marriage through begging, nagging, pouting, and other forms of emotional coercion. She'd effectively sucked me first into a non-sexual relationship that I didn't want and then eventually into a sexual relationship that I didn't want and finally into marriage. There existed a few reasons for which I seemed powerless to resist, the main one being that I had never learnt to define, respect, protect, and defend my own emotional, physical, and sexual space and boundaries. If you'd never learnt to defend your boundaries, you may find it difficult to do now; but there exist ways that could make it easier for you. One way for example is to write or type out that you feel coerced into the relationship and then leave the note on the table for her or send it to her in a text message. Morally, you might feel uncomfortable breaking up with her remotely and might feel that it's only right to do it face-to-face. I understand that and I'm not proposing that you necessarily break up with her that way unless you feel comfortable with that. If you don't, then just write the letter or send the e-mail or text message just expressing how you feel for now and letting her know that you will meet to discuss it face-to-face later.

              Once you meet up face-to-face, she'll have had time to think about what you'd written and so you could hopefully have a calmer discussion about it. You said you loved her, and maybe you don't necessarily want to break up with her. Okay, fine. But if you're not married to her yet, then you might even want to propose making your relationship non-sexual from now on. From my experience, a coercive woman wants to pressure the man into a sexual relationship since she knows that she can manipulate him emotionally more easily that way. When a man can keep the relationship non-sexual, he can assess her character more objectively and less emotionally. Switching to a non-sexual courtship could benefit both of you. It would be an opportunity for you to acquaint yourself more with her character, and it would be an opportunity for her to acquaint herself more with yours too. You could even think of this as your own 'shit test' if you want, to see if she'll still stick around without the sex. If she loves you, she might even take this as a warning for her to improve her character to win you back; and if she does, then maybe she is marriageable material after all. If she tries to pressure you into maintaining a sexual relationship against your will, then she'll have revealed her coercive side. If she leaves just because you won't give her sex, then you know that you were just her dildo all along (no offence intended).

              You might want to consider another coercive tactic. A coercive woman will want to interact with you face to face, always, so that she can beg, nag, pout, and do everything else that she cannot so easily do in an email or text message for example. If you catch her doing that, and you can't confront her face to face, then keep sending her e-mails and text messages explaining that you feel coerced by her and that while you might still want to remain friends, that you want to end the sexual relationship at least for now and expect that she'll respect your boundaries. You might even refuse to meet her again until she agrees to respect them.

              Your circumstances might be different from what mine were all those years ago and you might need different tactics, but I'm just throwing that out there in case it helps.

              Comment


              • #8
                In the past year, has she gotten close to a new girl friend or friends who would counsel her on how to manipulate you? I have found that older cousins or sisters or friends will around the Holiday season move in and assume that she's been with you long enough if you haven't married her. And then play "relationship coaches" for her telling her how to pull your strings. I've seen this countless times as the older ones are coached by a grandmother figure somewhere as to building a healthy family organization. Get rid of the bum's and deadwood (men). It's a "Matriarchy".

                I think Matrix has it right. Those who believe that they control will care the least and if they feel they have a sisterhood and numbers that they have the power in the relationship. Best thing I think you could do is start looking for a BBD (bigger better deal.....which is what most fit and trim girls do right after the Holidays) Single girls will flood the market in the next few months because they didn't get a proposal or engagement ring for Christmas. Beware when your girl starts going out with a bunch of other girls supposedly to funeral wakes, baby showers, weddings, etc etc as this is where their friends will be introducing them to new men. You can take this to the Bank. Once they think they have something solid, you will likely be kicked to the curb.

                I've grown up around several Italian/American families and known a number of those daughters. They were quite lovely when young, but they are hardly the same women by 40. (hardly recognizable). As Pbisque points out.....doesn't get better with age.

                What you have to remember is that a guy's value increases with age where women's is quite the opposite. That's why they are such pills when they are young. They have the looks of "goddesses" in teens when they aren't much more mature than little girls in that same time. Guys tend to be walking around in their testosterone fog until they have been chewed up and spit out a few times by these girls who think what they see in the mirror will get them anything they want. (where guys will of course pay for it)

                My best advice, stay single and don't stay in any relationship more than a couple of years until you are into your 30's when the girls begin to see a gray hair or two and realize Mother Nature has devaluated her social capital. That's when they sober up and begin to get real.
                sigpic

                Comment


                • #9
                  Run Forrest, run!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thanks for the posts guys

                    Since your posts ive noticed more and more how my 'partner' twists everything I do and say to fuel her belief. everything I do is wrong, or bad or twisted or has a sinister motive.. when in fact most of the times this is simply not true! when I mention this to her though she simply denies it and twists it into another meaning....

                    I do believe I have triggered something in her like one post earlier claimed, and its perhaps the fact that I have aspergers and have a very high iq but have a problem with social gatherings and because we aspies lack 'theory of mind' that most other people have she sees the vulnerability in me that she automatically perceives as weakness, as most humans do, im not sure this is just a female trait but actually a 'human' trait.. the selfish gene book and other books on evolution some by Richard dawkins have described this process in more detail.

                    Her moods are erratic and unstable, though she seems completely unaware of them.. and her age im beginning to think more and more that her odd emotional state is fuelled by the midlife crisis.. women do seem very very unstable emotionally

                    a great example of this is 'she doesn't like the way I wash dishes' lol

                    so she hides the plug for the sink before I can wash them, then denies that she has hidden the plug, but a few days later she will say 'you didn't do the dishes' and use that as a dig against me ! for me the logic is so flawed its criminal.. she never used to be like this, she used to be kind, caring, full of love and patience.. its almost like she has done a complete flip.

                    another example is she ignores me the entire day like most days and rolls her eyes and is bored everything interaction I attempt, so after 8-9 hours of it ive had enough! and I storm out telling her this and she denies doing it only says she wasn't interested in the last topic when in reality she has been doing this all fucking day (excuse my French) over lots of topics

                    How can you even relate too or interact with someone who is unwilling to admit reality

                    she admitted 5-6 months ago when i asked her why she was still here she said she has no choice which of course gave me the warning signs she still has family friends etc.. all my family have passed away and friends moved away so she knows im isolated and alone which dosnt leave me in a great predicament

                    love the 'run forrest run' note but run to where? lol
                    hope you all have a great new year

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by worriedguy View Post
                      love the 'run forrest run' note but run to where? lol
                      ...the door

                      In my opinion yr being provoked ... She's probably pushing Borderline Personality Disorder.

                      ...and dont be thinking im just being light hearted or trying to be funny. Im dead serious.

                      people dont treat people the way you describe... its just perverted.

                      ever heard the term Gaslighting?

                      walking on eggshells?

                      google 'em
                      "Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one" - Charles Mackay

                      And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee. - Donne

                      "What we are seeing in this headless misandry is a grand display of the Tyranny of the Underdog: 'I am a wretchedly longstanding victim; therefore I own no burden of adult accountability, nor need to honor any restraint against my words and actions. In fact, all efforts to restrain me are only further proof of my oppressed condition.'
                      "It is the most perfect trump-card against accountable living ever devised." - Gladden Schrock

                      "What remains for most men in modern life is a world of expectation without reward, burden without honor and service without self" - Paul Elam

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Wow, too much in my head all wanting onto the keyboard at the same time.... God willing, this will somehow still be coherent.

                        1) Alone is better. I agree with Matrix. She sounds personality disordered. Again, alone is better.

                        2) A high IQ can be a handicap when dealing with women. Emotions are their fuel, even more so when a personality disorder is in play. You naturally want to offer logical arguments to convince her of some point. It doesn't matter how rational the point you are trying to make is. She will rationalize it away. (google rationalization hamster). The only rational action you have to deal with this is to leave.

                        3) She "changed" because she now views you as locked down. She probably assumes this because you told her all about your loneliness and how much you fear your isolation. Sorry son, but you let a vampire in. You gave her all the ammunition she needs to keep you twisted around her finger. Her "changing" is not anomalous. This is very typical behavior. Thank what ever god you pray to that she showed you this before you made things legal.

                        4) If she is personality disordered, you must be prepared for a violent reaction when you finally break it off. You either need to ghost her, or make sure you tell her in a place with lots of witnesses. You don't need her dropping domestic violence accusations on you in retaliation or worse, physically assaulting you first and then dropping domestic violence accusations. Record everything to the extent that it is legal in your jurisdiction.

                        5) I don't often quote women, but Maya Angelou has one of the most useful quotes pertaining to this sort of thing:

                        “When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”
                        I used to think collapse was inevitable. Now I realize it is necessary.

                        It was only a matter of time before the bicycles realized that they in fact did not need the fish.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Another idea might be to consult with a counselor, depending on the severity of the situation and your mental state of course. If it gets really out of hand, definitely reach out for help. There is no shame in that.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Marteno View Post
                            Another idea might be to consult with a counselor, depending on the severity of the situation and your mental state of course. If it gets really out of hand, definitely reach out for help. There is no shame in that.
                            If you got yourself a tick, dont live with it, dont try to kill it leaving the head still buried where it will fester.
                            Remove the damn thing completely.
                            ...and as early as possible after it bites.
                            "Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one" - Charles Mackay

                            And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee. - Donne

                            "What we are seeing in this headless misandry is a grand display of the Tyranny of the Underdog: 'I am a wretchedly longstanding victim; therefore I own no burden of adult accountability, nor need to honor any restraint against my words and actions. In fact, all efforts to restrain me are only further proof of my oppressed condition.'
                            "It is the most perfect trump-card against accountable living ever devised." - Gladden Schrock

                            "What remains for most men in modern life is a world of expectation without reward, burden without honor and service without self" - Paul Elam

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I noticed a report on today's News (local TV Station) where fewer High School Students are having sex now as opposed to 2005.
                              Down from 47% to 41%. The CDC (Center for Disease Control) states that the matter needs more research to understand why but you can
                              read the article and watch the video:

                              http://time.com/5087451/fewer-high-s...re-having-sex/


                              I think it would be interesting for the CDC to find a trend where younger guys are just putting off getting involved with so many "drama queens",
                              "attention ho's", and "gold diggers". But obviously no one wanted to give "MGTOW" any credit for this trend.
                              sigpic

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X